Hello and happy Saturday morning to you. Dave kindly gave me the week off last time, as I was visiting Cardiff and reminiscing about the time I watched Wales versus Argentina in a friendly at the Millenium Stadium. Veron played in that game and was immense. In my Newcastle team, he’s less so. Having said that, we do start Season 9 as English Champions, so he must be doing ok.

To try and carry on doing better, I sign up Leandro from Sporting Lisbon – this boy has goals in his boots.

He’s off the mark in the Charity Shield, but we collapse in the second half after that goal and I have a foroding sense of frustration for this season.

With one Brazilian goal machine coming in, I let another one, Lardel, go. Maybe he’ll rediscover his hunger in Southend. For goals that is.

We take our Wembley form into the first league game of the season. It was going well until my keeper got sent off….

It’s brighter at home to Sheffield Wednesday. Rai-son and Leandro combining to secure the points and it’s Happy Days!

It’s a blank away to Boro though, even with a man advantage. ‘Dave’ Trotta gets a run out to see if he’s got some of that Batigol magic, but it seems not. Yet.

Its better against Ipswich, but we need an own goal to get us going

Time to discover our fate in the Champions League groups. Pick the bones out of that one.

Our away form is a worry, a goal up, a man up, but still only a share of the points.

Better at home, but we leave it late doors against Bolton. Badriano back from injury with a bang.

Finally an away win, and taking advanytage of the red cards. Ibagaza has been a good signing for an original player. One to check out again in the future.

At home to Milan, its a chance for Julio to try and regain some confidence in his abilities. He takes his chance with aplomb, bags two goals and we blow Milan away

Ex-Milan striker Kluivert is our nemesis when Liverpool come to Toon, but its a bad day all round when Geordio gets injured and Sosa-Jnr fluffs his lines at the penalty spot.

Well, thats a huge kick in the Joy Division. Poor Julio.

All opposition goalkeepers are knob-heads. I will not be taking questions on this viewpoint.

It’s a dingdong in Spain against future serial winners. Edilson is Brazilian and scores a lot of goals, so naturally I’ve shortlisted him. Claudio is another old favourite getting back into the first team frame.

John Toshack’s United are floundering in 19th, so of course today is the day they start playing for their manager. Thats still one hell of a squad.

We manage the reverse scoreline against a different United. Gerson is back in on the right and shows his £12m value is justified. The man he ousted from the squad scores the second goal for United, such is the way of this world.

Methodical against the whole nation of Croatia. They did win the CWC a few seasons back

Half way there, Sevilla the team to beat to qualify now.

A result to please Ross Bell, if no one else. Vandermissen not living up to his name sadly.

Veron joins Esnaider and Geordio in the long term treatment room…

More dirge against Derby. As Weird Al once sang in the 1986 Transformers Movie – Dair to be Stupid, as I was with the team selection.

Its slightly more joyous by the seaside, but it has to come from an unlikely source in our erstwhile Chilean left back.

Well, after that load of old toss, we’re 6th in the table and 5 points adrift. We’ll need a big middle section of the season to make something of ourselves. See you next week to find out how.