Finally, an idea has arrived. Something has awoken and it’s all Nath’s fault.

I’ve got an entirely fictional story for you to set the scene. I should point out, multi club ownership is rubbish and a blight on modern day football but I do hope it’ll make for an interesting blog.

Big Eagle Entertainment Football Club Opportunities – BeefCo for short (also BEEFCO) are a set of mysterious investors who have purchased three football clubs across Europe. Their plan is for European domination which will inevitably lead to World Domination, as let’s face it, clubs outside of Europe aren’t up to much on CM9798. The dream is to see two of the BeefCo play out a Champions League final, but let me tell you this – these clubs are nowhere near Champions League at this point in time.

Let’s see who the BeefCo have signed up…

Go Ahead Eagles

From Holland, the most obvious acquisition is Go Ahead Eagles. An undoubtedly silly name, they find themselves in the Dutch second division with a lot of work ahead to get back in the big time and try and dislodge the big three.

Crystal Palace

Palace are of course nicknamed The Eagles, making them more easy prey for the Beef. Palace have just been promoted to the Premier Division, which gives them an advantage except for the small matter of being heavy favourites to go down.

OGC Nice

The final team in this beefy trilogy is OGC Nice, who we’ll just be calling Nice for sake of argument. Their nickname is Les Aiglons, or “The Eaglets” if you prefer. The nickname is derived from the city of Nice’s coat of arms, which features an eagle. Now we’ve all learned something. Nice are in Ligue 2 in France after being relegated in 96/97, so will also have to work their way up the pyramid to achieve greatness. Somehow, despite finishing bottom of Ligue 1 they won the French Cup so we’ll have Cup Winners Cup football to look forward to.

Beefco have spent a lot of their cash on buying three clubs so the budgets have remained as the Collyer’s intended. We’ve got a lot of work to do, and the most important question of all – who gets the Micker?

Oh and with the Bald Eagle Jim Smith busy at Derby County, I’ll be in charge across the board. Now, there’ll be an awful lot of games and it’ll take a lot longer than normal to do a season, so you’ll get the edited highlights in each blog post. A bit of variety will hopefully be well received.

The squad’s need major surgery. Go Ahead Eagles have, for some reason, stockpiled wide forwards. Nice are similar. Crystal Palace don’t have the worst squad I’ve ever seen but we know it lacks the quality to survive in the Premier League.

Palace are the first to get their season underway. Ismael departed to be replaced for free by Bound and Splinter from TMNT. Bound gets the nod on the opening day. Marc Emmers will hopefully be his usual self. Other than that, all I could attract were Partick Thistle trio Lauchlan, Ritchie and Martin, who I hope to loan out to those that need them. Jansen has a big club release clause and is being monitored by West Ham, so we’ll see how long we have him for.

An early indication of our struggles ahead as we just about nick a point at home to Coventry

The Go Ahead Eagles have the silly cup to play in. Usually an opportunity for people like the Micker to fill their boots, the lack of players who want to sign is all too evident as we field a team with three new signings – Steve Strong, Kav will make you feel good and Dalian Atkinson (Man with an umbrella from the Sweeney is standing by. RIP, Dalian).

It goes typically poorly. Tammer, the one bright spark, is subject to transfer bids from a couple of clubs. A lot of work to do here.

Finally, it’s the turn of Nice to get their season underway. Again, recruitment has been poor but we do at least have the Micker, Duncan and Twiss. Can they cut it on a frankly lovely evening in France? We’ll find out.

Narrator: They Caen’t.

It started so well. This is an inauspicious beginning. That Eagle on the logo is getting madder. In my defence, judging players in France is impossible. They all have amazing stats but so few of them are actually any good.

Two amazing things happen in Holland. Tammer turns down Anderlecht, citing something to do with not wanting to get his eyes pecked out by an eagle. Then he helps his team record a win in their first league game. Huzzah!

The quickest corner turn in history for the GAE is completed with a win over a top division side. Natigol and Uncle Bulgaria have been added to the ranks and whilst we still lack basic things like a holding midfielder, we’re doing ok.

See? The Mulhouse boys are reunited and the results are GOALS.

It’s good news in London at last! After narrow defeats to Leeds and Man Utd, our first win of the BeefCo era comes against Chelsea. In some style too.

We end the update with some great news. Nice win their first game at the 4th time of asking.

And the Go Ahead Eagles continue to rise, this victory at VVV sending us through in the Pints Trophy.

A date for your diary

Let’s have a look at the squads before we finish. The squads are full, which is a hinderance. Celtic have just bid for Jansen so that might free up a spot but I don’t know what to buy, probably a keeper or a centre back.

Nice have similar problems but I’m hoping Tomlinson makes a big difference when he’s back. He’s yet to kick a ball for us.

Uncle Bulgaria is out for a month but it’s a great mood at the Eagles. Goals everywhere in that front line.

It’s good to be back and thoroughly enjoying this rather strange challenge. Join me next week for more madness as Nice play in the Cup Winners Cup, Palace try to find a way up the table and The Eagles feed Natigol over and over again.