Bonjour! Welcome along for another half a season with the Basque Boys in France. After reverting to the old 2-3-1-2-2, things are going ok-ish in the league, and we find ourselves in the Champions League quarter-finals after a relatively easy group. Can we mix it with Europe’s elite? Let’s f*cking go…

We’ve been in better positions at the halfway stage, but conceding lots of goals is a risk you run when playing the 2-3-1-2-2 unless you can go out and buy elite players, which I cannot…

Anyway, Monaco are up first, and it’s easy work, as Diaz continues to bang them in…

A five-star display sees Cannes smashed out of the main cup…

Lorient await…

Dortmund try to unsettle star man Diaz ahead of our champions league quarter-final. Hands off, you Kuntz…

Emery decides to be a d*ckhead at Lens, and in place the blame for this unexpected hammering firmly at his feet…

Speaking of unexpected results, I’m expecting the usual battering by Bordeaux, but Seb Frey gets injured, and his replacement is an 18 year-old grey. Enough said…

Injuries and suspensions mean a slightly weakened team faces Lyon, and I can only name four subs, three of which are keepers, so you can imagine how the game goes…

Back to the cup, and despite forcing extra time, we’re super-keepered and out at Lorient…

All the injuries and suspensions leave me with no choice but to recall Lasa from his loan to give us an extra body in midfield…

Nice come to town and pile more misery on us by making it three games in a row without a win…

We’re looking down and out in Dortmund with ten men and a two-goal deficit, but then a Ricken red levels the playing field, and Babs converts two penalties to put us in a great position going into the second leg…

We get revenge on Lorient for the cup defeat, although it’s far from plain sailing…

Conceding late goals is something we’ve become incredibly good at lately, and we allow lowly Nimes to help themselves to a point…

Babs loves scoring against Dortmund, and he puts us 1-0 up in the second leg. An equaliser inevitably comes, but Diaz puts us straight back in front before Oscar finishes the job to send us into the semis…

It’s Liverpool, which is probably the kindest of the three possible outcomes…

Back in the league, a Diaz brace ensures that we do the double over those c*nts, Le Havre…

Like Dortmund, Liverpool try some underhand tactics and make a bid for Diaz a week before we face them…

We seem to be putting together a decent little run at the minute, and Cannes are next to be demolished…

Well isn’t this nice…

To Europe, where once again we find ourselves a man and two goals down, and to make matters worse, Liverpool’s grey keeper is having the game of his life, but we dig deep to give ourselves a chance in the second leg…

It’s been so refreshing to be scoring late goals in the last couple of games rather than conceding them, and a late double from Diaz snatches all three points from Lille…

And then the Bastiards decide to ruin things yet again…

The second leg with Liverpool goes to extra time, and we look to be heading out when they score in the 106th minute, but Oscar, who’s up front in the absence of the suspended Calle, sends us into dreamland. FULL SPEED AHEAD BARCELONA!!!

I was actually referring to the stadium, but coincidentally, we’ll face the club as well. Barcelona in their own back yard? Piece of p*ss, mate…

We might have just reached the Champions League final and gone 11 games unbeaten, but Marseille decide to remind us of how far off winning the league title we still are. Pricks…

But one loss isn’t going to stop me making it two manager of the month awards in a row…

PSG p*ss on my fireworks, as we inexplicably go from being in the best form ever to playing absolute dog sh*t in a couple of weeks…

Guingamp make me feel slightly better about things…

Naturally, I sacrifice the Rennes game by fielding the second string to have my best team fit for the Champions League final…

This is what we’re up against. Only Figo, Roger and De La Peña remain from the original squad, but it’s still packed with quality, as you’d expect…

We have several good chances early on, but fail to take them, and go behind on half an hour. Oscar’s up front again, and he gets the equaliser, and we look to be heading for extra time again. But with just eight minutes to go, our dreams are smashed to pieces. F*****ck!!!

Despite being utterly devastated, we manage to pick ourselves up to beat Montpellier, although it does little to soften the blow…

And we sign off with an emphatic win away at Caen, to secure fifth place and UEFA Cup football for next season…

Fifth place could be viewed as a step backwards, but I can’t be too hard on the boys after we had one hell of a ride in Europe and missed out on the biggest prize by a whisker…

Pff, you can keep your money…

The stats, if that sort of thing turns you on..

Diaz definitely came of age this season, with 38 goals and 21 assists in all competitions…

He and Babs made the Spain Euro 2008 squad, which went on to win the tournament…

And to cap a great year, he ended up top scorer for the division, and writers’ player of the year. Oh, and we won another completely pointless fair play award…

I’ll be honest, had we beaten Barcelona, then I probably would have ended this blog here, as it would have been the ultimate high to go out on, but as we still haven’t won anything, on we shall crack. Join me next week to see if this season’s European exploits have shown the boys what they’re capable of, and given them some confidence for season 12. Au Revoir!