Hello! Bonjour! Dutch words meaning hello! We’re back with our trio of Eagles hoping to earn ourselves a couple of promotions. We’re into the run in now, with 2 promotions to play for if we’re lucky and whatever Palace are up to. Strap yourselves in, it’s a big episode today.

One of the surprises of the season so far is Paul McVeigh, bagging nearly a goal a game in French Ligue 2. Surely that Northern Ireland cap is just around the corner…

Beauvais and Butthead are stubborn opponents as we struggle to put them away. The early goal helps but after a frustrating hour, it takes our own butthead the Micker to seal the points and a rare clean sheet. 5 points the gap to 3rd now…

It’s not such good news for the Go Ahead Eagles. Betterton’s occasional lack of hands once again costs us dear, conceding every shot he faces in a 4-2 loss. We were 1-0 up until the 65th minute too. The transfer window is shut in Holland, so I don’t know if we just stick it out and hope Betterton develops.

Big win for Palace though, with Vialli suspended young Ritchie steps in to lead the line and takes us to a potentially vital three points.

I do think these boys turn up against the bigger sides and just can’t be bothered against the Barnsley’s and Southampton’s of this world. The hidden “Anthony Gordon” stat, if you will.

Nice’s progress is checked by Remy the Rat. We are prone to throwing in the occasional daft one.

Not as daft as this lot though. It’s 6 in Eindhoven, whilst conceding three.

Speaking of daft, we’re 3-0 up inside 20 minutes against bottom club Mulhouse, and still we nearly blow it.

We haven’t been to Palace for a while but that’s because we’ve forgotten how to win. I have an unpublished theory that something happens in February that messes with the game. It takes an age to process one week in late Feb and then your results change.

Signing Amunike on deadline day might help. It also, might not.

It very nearly does but we just can’t win at the moment.

Meanwhile this first win in three for Nice reduces the gap back to 5 points, with 8 games to play.

So as we’re now in the business end of the season, a quick check of those tables so we all know what we’re playing for. Don’t worry, we’ll play to the end of season 1 in today’s update we’re just having a mid episode summary.

Remember it’s 42 games in Ligue 2.

34 in Holland but we’ve been 6th or thereabouts for ages.

The hopes of a European place have fallen away. 6 games left and I suppose the gap is only 3 points (though there are many games in hand). 4 of our last 6 are at home, so that might help, but we haven’t won in 6 against fairly mediocre opposition.

Nice are purring along nicely now. Five different scorers always looks nice.

The daft lads are at it again. Verschelde, on loan from fellow BeefCo Nice, gets a hat-trick as we look set to take part in the end of season playoffs, which I vaguely remember being ridiculous from the old Retirement-Academy save.

Palace win! An Easter Monday to remember.

Tam Tam Bigelow gets yet another hat-trick as TOP Oss prove to be anything but.

Yippeee

Nice are frustrated for a long time against lowly Toulon but substitute Le Micker comes up with a crucial winner and the chase continues.

2 points! Surely we can achieve the unthinkable from 3 months ago.

Another game closer. There’ll be a lot of Nice coverage here as there’s nothing to talk about in London.

Meanwhile in Holland, Tammer brings up his 50 for the season as we pass 100 league goals. Sitting in 4th, the playoffs will be chaotic.

Just when you think we’ve got it sorted out…a typical Champing occurs. Rats.

It’s still possible but we’re going to need some luck. We have to go to Cascarino’s Nancy soon which is obviously less than ideal at this stage.

The Eagles finish 4th and now have to wait a ludicrous near 3 weeks for the playoff competition to kick off.

Palace finish 11th, which is very reasonable for a side that is usually relegated. A lot of new blood needed to help take them forwards though.

We lead at Nancy but ultimately imploded in the second half. Cascarino scored to rub salt in the wounds that leave our promotion push in tatters.

4 points, three games.

Lorient have us worried but Duncan pops up with a big header to reignite hopes.

Caen and Le Mans both lose! What a promotion race.

It’s time for the playoff tournament. Two groups of 4, made up of the 2nd to 7th placed teams in the second tier plus 17th and 18th from the top division. I think the two group winners go up (or stay up).

It’s a less that convincing start but Tam Tam smashes in a stoppage time winner.

Le Micker!! The substitute with a vital late winner.

So vital it puts us in the zone with one game to go!

Our last game is against relegated Red Star at home. I know what should happen.

At 2-0 down, I thought we might be having to wait for another year but then their centre back got sent off and things took a decided turn for the better. At 3-2 we managed to get pegged back to 3-3 despite having a man advantage. Tomlinson put us back in front pretty quickly and Le Micker finished the job.

Second in the end, never in doubt. 98 league goals (and 68 conceded…)

With one good news story, we can really make that Eagle cheer up if we can get the GAE through the playoff thing.

Ludicrously, the loan of Verschelde terminates on 1st June. No worries lads of he goes back to France to do nothing for 3 months.

Such is the way of the world, his replacement scores a hat-trick. Lovely Kav.

And we’re up with 2 games to spare!

The two dead rubbers are typically quiet affairs. The last match we ludicrously don’t have Uncle Bulgaria as he’s been called up for the World Cup and that takes precedence over this stupidity.

I assume that’s us up but you can never be too sure.

The World Cup takes place, where Denmark beat Germany on penalties in the final. Ireland come third. Yes.

Awards time at last, with Richard Wright claiming PFA Young player of the year for little to no reason.

Ian Wright has had a great time.

That is the end of this mighty mighty update though. Two promotions and survival for Palace, I’d say season one has gone near perfect. Now we have a summer of buying and selling ahead, there’s quite a bit of debt knocking around so Palace might be making some big purchases. See you next week for season 2, where BeefCo have beefed up Selhurst Park!