Champ Man & Me: Tom from Classic11.com

Joining me for this edition of Champ Man & Me is Tom Allen from Classic11.com – specialising in old and original football shirts from the past 35 years. I spoke to Tom about what part Championship Manager had played in his passion for the football and all things retro

Thanks for joining us, Tom. Tell us about classic11.com – what prompted you to set it up?

Classic11.com started out of a simple pastime collecting football shirts, around 11 years ago. I’ve always found that old football shirts trigger memories from the seasons gone by, and the changing designs over the years represent the taste and fashion from different eras.

Are certain classic shirts in demand even now?

Definitely. I think 1990s football shirts have made a real emergence in terms of demand over the past few years. I think that age range have moved into a ‘higher spending demographic’, and they want a piece of football nostalgia from their childhood. Of course, the really old shirts (70s & 80s) will always bee highly popular due to low numbers, and player name and number shirt from the legends of the game are always highly popular.

If I pushed you for a favourite kit of all time, what would it be?

I have always said that the 2000/2001 Italy home shirt was an absolute classic. Simple, elegant, and one of the first to incorporate a new type of figure hugging material. I think Nike picked up the baton when the designed England 2003/04 World Cup winning Rugby Shirt. The ‘Pro-Fit’ shirts are so commonplace now, but I think that Kappa Italy shirt was one of the first.

Which team do you support? Are you happy with how the season has panned out?

I’m sort of a neutral when it comes to football – is that really boring? I just love football. I live in Leicester so I’ve definitely been jumping on that bandwagon this season! What an achievement by the Leicester boys, everyone involved with the club deserves so much credit, including the fans. I used to support Liverpool when I was younger – Steve Mcmanaman was one of my childhood heros – his dribbling skills were just so much better than 95% of than Premier League. I don’t think you saw as much of it back then.

Like so many football fans, I guess you have dabbled with FM/CM at some point!?

Oh yes! I’d like to think i played CM with as much dedication as the next boy/girl back then. Weeks on end, especially over the summer holidays with my friend down the road. We’d have sleep overs and play it all night. I remember once being the manager of Blackpool and took them to EPL champions (as you do). Ronaldo (the original one) was available on a free, I got all the wages and contract term sorted out (how could he refuse moving to the seaside town from Milan?), but on the transfer confirmation page I accidently clicked ‘No’. On that version of CM there was no ‘Are you sure’ button, and Ronaldo remained in Italy.

We’re obviously big fans of CM9798, do you have any memories of this version in particular? (if you don’t, which version have you enjoyed most, if any?)

I really enjoyed 97/98 as this was the first version I had of my own. Previous years I had called round to friends to play. CM 01/02 was very good – I played that to death. I ‘ve got hundreds of memories, but one that really stick out did not actually happen to me, but I remember it because it just summed up the relationship with this game. A friend of mine told me about a lad he knew who actually got dressed up in a suit to play the FA Cup final his team got to. I just cried with laughter when I heard that. I could just imagine him doing it – that’s how involved you can get with CM. So silly.

Back to classic11.com, how do you source your stock? Do you have to travel far and wide to collect and grow your stock?

We have a ‘sell’ button on the website where people can get in touch with us to sell their old football shirts. We also watch some of the auction sites from time to time. Some sellers come from Eastern Europe. I think they take advantage of the exchange rate when we pay in Pounds Sterling. I have made a few journeys across county with a boot full of vintage football shirts a few times.

What’s the strangest name/number combination you’ve had on a shirt? I noticed you had a Jesper Blomqvist Manchester United shirt on there…

One of the best we’ve had which I kind of wish I had kept, was a German player from the 1996 Euro’s his name was Kuntz and he wore the #11. It’s so rude but it just makes me laugh how he was running around in England with that on his back. And to think the Queen watched the final at Wembley that year when they beat Czech Republic in the final. I left the shirt on the site when it was sold, just so people could see: http://classic11.com/collections/germany-football-shirts

The European Championships are around the corner, do you have any promotions planned?

Yes, we’ll do some promotions leading up to it. Maybe a little sale too. We would would love to give CM97/98 followers a discount for the European Championships. It would be nice to work with you more as our focuses are so closely related. Watch this space…

Once again, thanks to Tom for joining us. You can follow Tom on Twitter or visit the excellent Classic11.com to browse the many shirts available. Enjoy!

Dyer Straights

Another new season is upon us and I’ve got a good feeling about this. After our massively unlikely title win, we now have the joy of playing Champions League football and trying to retain the league title. Furthermore, due to our Cup Winners Cup win we’ll get to play in the Super Cup in January, so there’s that to look forward to. This may be quite a narcissistic update – just a warning.

On that note, my reputation is fully restored

reputations

It’s been a long way back but like Alan Partridge, I’ve bounced back. I didn’t even need to drive to Dundee barefoot either. All we need now is for England’s gaffer to get the boot and then it’ll be my time to shine, and a 57 year old Peter Beardsley will receive his first cap in about 30 years. Some day…

Anyway, on to the here and now, as part of our new found fame we’re in the Charity Shield for the 2nd year in succession. 1st Division Charlton prove a tough nut to crack but we do it, just about.

CS 18

It’s fair to say the game didn’t exactly attract a full house to Wembley. Oh well, we’ve got a big shiny shield to keep us happy. The first game of the season is a tough one

newc 1 - 0 darlo

It probably bodes well that we can grind out a win like this against one of the better teams in the league, but as ever it’s a worry we couldn’t score more. We’ll check back in with my progress later.

As usual there’s some managerial stupidity. Ancelotti is given the sack

milan sack ancelotti

Milan appoint Hellas Verona’s manager, and Ancelotti goes there instead. The old switcheroo.

Blog favourite Neil Finn is also on the move

finn to gillingham

Gillingham haven’t long been relegated from the Premier League, so a nice move for the big former goalkeeper.

This is…odd

colchester to bilbao

Colchester are 20th in Division 3. Bilbao are in La Liga. I don’t know why this has happened.

In the Premier League though it’s the sack for Kieron Dyer

arsenal sack dyer

Dyer hasn’t been in the management game that long but he’s moving rapidly through the clubs. He’ll need a new one now though. Who can Arsenal appoint?

little to arsenal

Oh my. A controversial move, going from Liverpool to Arsenal, especially as he has been Liverpool manager for so long. Liverpool need somebody to bring back the glory days, it’s been very slim pickings for them recently.

samuel to liverpool

Right. This is presumably an effort at re-producing Kenny Dalglish’s spell as player manager in the 80s, as Samuel is a Scottish right winger, though he has only ever played for Rangers

samuel career

That’s a short career, especially to go on and manage Liverpool. Whatever, some things can’t be explained.

More about me now though, and Newcastle’s first Champions League campaign since the 97/98 season. The group we’ve got is a pure gift.

CL draw

The early signs are that my confidence was not misplaced

CL game 1

Two goals from my right back, you don’t often get that. We’ve had more injuries than ever but we’ve coped, and despite a slip up in Zagreb we’re well placed to qualify.

CL group 4 games

Which brings us to the Premier League table, and whilst it hasn’t been a vintage title defence, we’re in the pack. As the old saying goes; you can’t win the title in November but you sure can lose it.

prem top nov 18

The league has levelled out somewhat over the years so I don’t expect it to get any less tight as the season goes on. The bottom of the table is grim reading for old Frazer Samuel

prem bottom nov 18

Chelsea are managed by Alvin Martin and I don’t remember mentioning them in any great detail for some seasons now, but they are in danger of being relegated here. Still a long way to go though.

So with this season bubbling up nicely I hope I’ll see you back here for the next update, as 2018 ticks into 2019 and the business end of the season approaches. Bye for now!

For More CM97/98 check out The World According to CM9798 available on Amazon now

Herculean Achievements

This is a bumper update so I’ll keep the chit chat to a minimum. We’ve come to the end of 2017/18 and there’s drama everywhere you look, starting with the pointless cup final. Steve Haslam is in the hunt for the quadruple with Darlington, can he seal trophy one?

League Cup

Oh, penalties.

LC final 18

Steve Haslam’s quadruple update is dealt a severe blow and it’s now trebles for Steve.

FA Cup

The football league is well represented here, and what’s more Keith Peacock’s Charlton force a replay with Haslam’s men. West Ham see off Brentford in the other semi final.

FA Cup SF results

The replay sees Darlington pay the penalty for the second time in 10 days.

SF replay

Crikey. So it’s a West Ham/Charlton final and somehow the first division side win it!

fa cup final 18

The biggest shock since Southport won it? I’d say so. Keith Peacock chooses to retire on a high so whoever takes the Charlton gig will have European football to look forward to.

Champions League

So, Steve’s treble is now a double. At least he’s in the Champions League final

CL SF results

Hercules aren’t even Champions of Spain yet they could be Champions of Europe.

CL final 18

They ARE Champions of Europe! Delight for their manager Luis Maria Martin Delgado, who I have never heard of. But power to him. For Haslam though all his eggs are now in the Premier League basket.

Premier League

It’s probably the tighest Premier League in years, with Bryan Robson determined to finally get his hands on the trophy with Sheff Wed leading the way. With 2 games to go, somehow, seven teams are in the running. Including us!

2 games to go

Darlo have an all important game in hand though, which makes them favourites. By the time another week passes, seven has become four, although we are relying on a minor miracle to even get in the 2nd Champions League spot.

1 game to go

Here’s the fixtures:

last day fixs

With the top 3 all facing away trips to midtable clubs, we even have the hardest fixture of the four. Nevertheless, let’s give this some respect.

We get our bit done

1-0 win

Darlo started the day top but they’ve fluffed their lines AGAIN, losing at Anfield

darlo lose

That leaves the door ajar for Bryan Robson and Sheffield Wednesday…

sheff wed lose

Hmm, so as it stands, Arsenal need to win to take the title. At worst we’ve got second sewn up…

arsenal draw

Oh my. They’ve all blown it!

prem final top

By four measly goals, we take the league title from my former club. The league may have a pitiful amount of goals but what drama. We’ve done it! It’s the only time we’ve been top all season, which is remarkable

table graph

If that’s not enough, we’re still in the Cup Winners Cup too

CWC SF results

A final! I’ll have a double, please.

CWC final

Wow. It’s been a strange old run-in, not exactly goals galore though

run in

Before we dive into the 2018 World Cup, a few bits and bobs.

Barcelona need a new manager

barca manager sacked

They opt for a current player of theirs, who has been a Barcelona player since 2004.

barca appoint arregui

He was also a member of my Spain squad many moons ago. Good luck to him.

Beardsley lives on, somehow his physical stats have re-generated. I don’t know why.

pedro end of season 21

And with that, it’s time to head to Brazil for the 2018 World Cup

Here’s England’s men for the occasion

england WC squad

That probably means very little to you but Mendes has been in great form for Darlington.

It’s a great start for England, back to back wins puts them through to the last 16 with a game to spare.

england 2 - 0 mexicoengland 2 - 0 ecuador

2-0 to the England becomes a popular terrace chant

england 2 - 0 sweden

It’s bad news for host nation Brazil though, they’re out after losing to Slovenia

brazil out

How foolish. The last 16 includes Ireland and thankfully Trinidad & Tobago have made up after their brief split.

WC last 16 draw

Holders Holland see off Ireland

ireland out

Whilst Argentina vs Spain is an all time classic

argies 5 - 4 spain

England keep their hopes alive too – but only just.

england 2 - 1 trinidad

Let’s take a look at the last 8

WC QF draw

2002 winners Nigeria up next for the holders whilst England and Argentina renew old rivalries

France vs Italy is the glamour tie of the round though

france 1 - 0 italy

England’s dream is ended by the South Americans

england out

I hope England sack their manager in disgust. They won’t though. Semi-finals…

WC SF draw

Holland are two games from retaining the trophy! But they will go no further..

holland 0 - 1 france

Brian Spork is a great name. Who will the French face in the final?

argies germany SF

Those good natured Argentinians eh? It means an all European final in Brazil. Firstly though, who finishes third?

argies 3rd

Porcel is Ariel Ortega only he plays for Derby, it’s all very odd. Anyway, final time

wc final 18

So Germany win the World Cup in Brazil. I’ve heard that before. Where are we going in 2022?

spain 2022

Lovely.

Let’s have some awards

manager of the year

Me!

awards 18

Assorted others! All that’s left to bring you is a boat load of retirements

bruce retiresholloway retireslippi retireslvg retires

Some beloved names calling it a day there, so lots of job opportunities for the new season. Somehow, I’ll be playing Champions League football and I’ll also get a crack at the Super Cup as we won the Cup Winners Cup, so that’s exciting. Join me for it, won’t you? Bye for now.

For more CM9798, check out The World According to CM9798 available on Amazon

Managerial Marvel

Hello to you and welcome to 2018. It’s been a mighty old save and as we pass the halfway stage in season 21, it looks like one of England’s most decorated footballers could be finally about to reach his managerial peak. What am I rambling about? Let me talk you through it.

Firstly though, in the last update we saw Parma’s relatively unknown manager take the England job. I’m delighted for him. I also hope he loses every game in Brazil. Here’s his group:

england WC draw

There’s also a rather strange occurance as the game seems to forget where to put the word “and”

weird WC draw

So unless Trinidad have actually separated from Tobago, I’m sure this is a mistake. Then again, nothing surprises me any more in this game. Even Peter Beardsley’s got his pace back

beardsley stats

Crikey, he’s quicker than me now. Not to mention 30 years older.

Back on topic though and Parma have appointed Francesco Guidolin as their new manager. He’s recently pitched up at Swansea in real life, so I think he will prefer this version of his life.

guidolin to parma

Juve poach Roma’s manager

monza to juve

You may also remember Louis van Gaal was dismissed by Italy – he’s rocked up at Valencia

LVG to valencia

Then to complete the old foes act, Gordon Milne is back in the Premier League

milne to west ham

He’s not taken long to get under my skin, knocking us out of the FA Cup in the quarter finals meaning we won’t retain our trophy.. Looking at the draw, anything other than Darlington winning would be a shock.

FA SF Draw

Steve Haslam has his fingers in many pies, including the league cup final, where they’ll face moneybags Derby.

LC SF results

Just the £109m in the bank for Derby, but they didn’t make it through to the Champions League quarter finals.

CL QF results

Indeed it’s Darlington flying the flag for England again, taking down the current holders Ajax on away goals. It’s a weird Semi Final lineup

CL SF Draw

Verona are top of Serie A, having won it last season. Hercules are 8th in La Liga following their runners up spot last season. The French league isn’t loaded but Marseille won the Champions League in 2016, so they’re a handy side.

350 words in and I haven’t mentioned my own fortunes too much, except for our FA Cup exit. We’re ticking over, in the top 6 and the last 4 of the Cup Winners Cup. We knocked out Salernitana in the quarters which is apparently a big deal

CWC shock

CWC QF results

Scenes. We’ll face Malmo in the last 4

CWC SF draw

But now back to the hero of the piece, Bryan Robson. He’s had some managerial career, starting at Middlesbrough in Division 1 and enjoying his second spell at Sheff Wed. He’s got 3 FA Cups to his name and a pointless cup, but the league has escaped him…

robson cups

He’s been close on a number of occasions, with Chelsea, Sheff Wed & Darlo.

robson league placings

But now, is this his year!?

prem top march 18

They’re not exactly runaway leaders but you’d love to be in his position with 8 games to go. We’re not a million miles away ourselves, and Haslam has a game in hand as he chases a quadruple. We’ve struggled for goals, somehow, despite having the re-gens of Ronaldo, Weah, Owen, Zidane and the Icelandic guy everybody loves. It’s mad.

The bottom of the table is grim reading for Palace, and not much better for Boro. I think it’s one from 6, including Man Utd and Everton who are floundering.

prem bottom march 18

So that’s it, another update has come and gone. The final update of the 2017/18 season promises to be massive – and will of course culminate with World Cup 2018 in Brazil. So Bryan Robson achieve his dream? Or will Haslam win it all? See you next time!

For more CM9798 check out The World According to CM9798 available on Amazon now

 

Champ Man & Me: Ross from Man on the Post

Welcome to another long overdue edition of Champ Man & Me. For this edition, I’m joined by Ross from the award winning Man on the Post podcast.

Thanks for joining me, Ross. Your podcast Man on the Post recently celebrated it’s 4th birthday. How did it all start?

I had been an avid listener of mainly football podcasts for a few years before we began, mainly The Football Ramble and Football Weekly. In the early days of the Ramble they used to all record from one of the hosts kitchen so I figured Skype could be our kitchen so I sent out a message on facebook asking if any of my friends were interested in joining me for a weekly football podcast all they’d need is skype and a way to communicate with me through it. My first response was from Adam who i had played sunday league football with a few years previous before he moved to the big smoke of London, I had interest from my friend Greg who i worked with and also a guy called James who I had met through the ill-fated Football Manager Live experience. Add to that Greg’s friend Tom and we were set for our first show, it was incredibly rough and my editing and producing were so poor it almost hurts my ears to go back and listen to episode one now.

How would you summarise the podcast for anybody looking for a new podcast to get stuck into?

I like to think of the Podcast as a conversation you might hear in a pub from a bunch of loud slightly obnoxious guys who kind of know what they are going on about. On a weekly basis we have two shows a week now, one on a sunday rounding up the weekend and one on a thursday previewing the action. Both have different crews so if you listen to every episode you always get to hear differing voices.

Like so many football fans, you’ve played a bit of CM/FM in your time. Do you remember how you first got into the series?

I remember vividly getting money in a homemade gift envelope for xmas probably 1996, we had bought our first monster of a home pc that previous year and I was dying to purchase the full copy of CM 2 after playing the 6 month demo from the front of a PC magazine. I distinctly remember going to pc world with my dad and buying the gorgeous green box and telling my dad that we had to go home right now so I could play.

Obviously, we’re big fans of CM9798. Do you have any memories of this version in particular?

CM 97/98 was not a vintage year for my team of choice – Leeds United, we were a year or two away from being one of the rich clubs with a wealth of talent to pick your team from I do remember always having high hope for central midfielder Tommy Knarvik, him and Mark Kerr would regularly boss games for me in the centre of the pitch

Everybody has a favourite CM/FM story – let’s hear yours!

My favourite story has to be a save I had with Salisbury City. It came off of the back of one of the challenges from an FM message board where you start a new game and have all the available English leagues open, go on holiday for a season and then take over one of the brand new clubs in either the conference north or south who get added to the game at the end of the first season, the aim of the challenge as with any FM challenge is world domination and whilst I didn’t quite manage that I did end up getting to the Premier League and establishing them as a solid mid table club in the mould of a Stoke City it took roughly 14/15 season with a fair few of them ending with me thinking why am I even doing this to myself.

What do you think of where the series is now? Do you like the in-depth nature of say FM16 compared to the pick up and play of the earlier titles?

It took me a while to really get back in to the series after the switch from CM to FM but the more and more indepth it has become the more I have gained enjoyment from it, the thrill of searching out the next wonderkid and developing them to be a world beater is something I still get a kick out of even after playing every iteration since 2, being a dad now though I do find time to play limited but then thats why its always good to have 2 and 97/98 installed for when you just need that quick fix.

You mentioned Leeds are your team. Are you happy with their season so far?

Sadly this season has been just as much of a disaster as the previous 15 if I’m honest, bar one season in league 1 under Simon Grayson its been pretty tough going being a Leeds fan since 2002.

Back to the podcast, do you have any aims/targets for the next year? How do you manage to keep the content fresh after 4 years?

Well in somewhat of a shock we won the best sports & recreation podcast award at last years UK Podcast Awards, so our aim for this year is to retain our crown. In terms of keeping it fresh Football does that for us, we recently looked back at some of the events in the previous 4 years of us doing the show and at least once or twice a season some one (normally Alan Pardew) does something mental that we can talk about and make jokes on for weeks. Football is a very giving sport if you cover it in a certain way.

If you could have any guest from the world of football on the podcast, who would it be?

We have two Pompey fans who are hosts on the podcast so personally for me I’d love to get Harry Redknapp on the show and just let them two at it for an hour.

Thanks again to Ross for taking the time to speak to us about all things football. You can download the Man on the Post podcast from acast.com/manonthepost – if you’re looking for a starting point, I’m a guest on this week’s show…

You can also rate and review the podcast on iTunes, with the added bonus that every 5* review gets a Man on the Post fridge magnet. You can never have enough fridge magnets. In all seriousness, it’s a great podcast and well worth a listen. Now, where’s that fridge magnet…

 

Haslam comes home

Greetings to you, and welcome to the 2017/18 season. This is the season where I’ll get to grace European competition for the first time with Newcastle and will finish with the 2018 World Cup. It’s all very exciting – in fact, it’s too exciting for some. Here’s what I mean.

Italy have qualified at a canter, so therefore this makes perfect sense

LVG sacked

The man who won Euro 2012 and 2016 is deemed no longer fit for purpose for Italy, which is just ridiculous. Just when you think it can’t get any worse, well, it can.

mulryne to italy

Phil Mulryne – Italy manager. I hope he wins the World Cup. Anyway, after going for so long with only me and Gerry Francis as managers, Darlington need yet another new boss. I’m pleased to say a very logical choice has been made as a club legend is welcomed back to Feethams

haslam to darlo

In the interest of completeness, Blackburn appoint David Platt.

platt to blackburn

Palace appoint some dude called Johnny Fitzgerald, who I don’t know, so let’s move on.

As a reward for winning the FA Cup I get to play in the Charity Shield, which is actually Mulryne’s last game in charge before Italy came calling.

CS 17

Poor performance really from us on our 2nd trip to Wembley in a few months, it’ll be like a home away from home before long.

Another old pal of mine has moved into management

finn to wimbledon

But the really big news comes from England HQ – they’ve also qualified for World Cup 2018 but there are rumblings…

lippi to go.

Sure enough, the axe falls on the veteran Italian.

lippi sacked

Obviously I really want the job, it’s the next and maybe final step in this save. Which makes it all the more annoying that they opt for this guy:

england appoint gagno

Who? Exactly. This guy doesn’t even have a wikipedia page so I assume he’s a re-gen, which is a real story killer. Arse. I mean, look at his achievements

gagni achievements

Great. Well done Manuel. League placings?

gagno league placings

Excitement levels for England fans must be off the chart. I’m livid. I hope he steps on a plug with no socks on.

Meanwhile, amidst all this stupidity we’ve reached the Cup Winners Cup last 8

CWC QF

That’s been the highlight of my season, as our league form has been bang average. Arsenal, under Kieron Dyer, lead the way from Bryan Robson’s Sheffield Wednesday. Haslam has some work to do at Darlington but his defence looks typically miserly.

prem top nov 17

Meanwhile at the bottom, Barnsley are not enjoying their first season in the top flight since 2000/01 whilst Man Utd and Liverpool continue to struggle in the bottom half.

prem bottom nov 17

That’s your lot for this update though, we’re about to cross into 2018 so I’ll tell you what that’s like when we speak again. Ta ta for now.

For more CM9798 check out my book on Amazon or the Brits Abroad series over on The Higher Tempo Press

The Final Countdown

Good day! It’s the final update of the 2016/17 season and it’s been a relatively quiet season, all things considered. Last time out I’d guided Newcastle to the FA Cup semi finals and within touching distance of European football via the league, but before we get to that, there’s something more pointless to sort out.

League Cup

Given that last season the game correctly predicted a Liverpool/Man City final that went to pens, fans of Arsenal & Aston Villa should be getting excited

LC final 17

Maybe not that excited. A 0-0 draw ends with a late Kevin Mulligan goal and it’s more silverware for Damien Johnson’s men. Let’s move on.

FA Cup

Me! We’re still in a cup by this stage which is remarkable in itself, but better yet I’ve not had to face a Premier League team yet. The semi finals is no different, as we battle Birmingham.

FA Cup SF win

3-0 after 25 minutes? Yes please. See you in the final. Who will we see?

FA SF Results

Well if it isn’t Matt Le Tissier and Manchester United. That’ll be a laugh.

It’s such an occasion I wrote a Live Text covering the final in more detail which can you read here, but for those who prefer the edited version, have a scroll down

 

 

FA Cup final 17

A real humdinger, obviously. And I should know – I had to write about it in great detail. But we won! That’s the main thing, and that guarantees us European football next season for the first time since 1998. The re-build is almost complete.

Champions League

Speaking of Europe, could Steve Haslam lead Blackburn to the final?

CL SF Results

No. It’ll be an all Dutch final, and with Holland as world champions, it’s a great time to be Dutch.

CL Final 17

An even better time to be an Ajax fan. Great. If you think that’s sort of normal, Hellas Verona won Serie A, replacing Cesena as champions. For real drama, let’s go to Spain.

You may recall that La Liga was toight like a toiger with a handful of games to go

spain title race

Pick your winner…now!

la liga top 2 games to go

Now?

la liga top final

Oh how boring. Taking 23 points out of a possible 27, Real Madrid go from 9th to winners. David Unsworth has won La Liga. It also means he’s taken them up from the Segunda to winning La Liga in 2 seasons. The man is a machine.

Back in England, there was no such excitement. We need a point on the last day to secure a top 6 finish, but we’re up against already crowned champions Darlington.

last game of season

Pick the bones out of that. We did it though, 6th!

prem final top 17

Derby and their millions will play in Europe’s elite club competition, whereas we’ll be in the Cup Winners Cup after our cup win. At the bottom…

prem bottom final 17

Meh. Brian Little’s Liverpool had a season to forget, that’s about all I can take from that.

David Beckham’s managerial career has been unbelievably bad. His latest disaster involves getting relegated from Division 2 with Scarborough and deciding take over at also relegated Chester.

beckham to chester

Awards time!

malacarne player of the year

Totally deserved, this guy kept us in so many games.

awards 17

Look at Malacarne’s average rating…

nufc averages

WOW YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE

135 new seats

It’s all too much for Peter Reid

reid retires

But one man can never have too much

pedro 56

Another season in the bag, he’s signed up for season 21. I hope we’ll see you there!

FA Cup Final Live Text – Newcastle United vs Manchester United

14:00 Welcome! It’s FA Cup final day and even though it’s 2017, it is no less of on occasion. We’ll be bringing you all the action as Newcastle United battle Manchester United at Wembley. It could be argued these two great clubs are in the process of passing each other in the metaphorical ladder, which should make this one of the closest finals in years.

Over the next hour or so we’re going to build up to kick off, and handily team news is just reaching us…

Newcastle United:

nufc final team

Subs: Torrente, Stephen, Vilstrup, Roest, Daly

Manchester United:

Man utd final team

Subs: Woodward, Ingham, Vercruysse, Ziemer, Woods

What does that mean? Well, Newcastle are missing key midfielder Gunnar Mariasson and Christophe Nogueira, who has been likened to Zinedine Zidane. Manchester United are missing top scorer Daniel Militaru, who like Nogueira is suspended.

14:10 Path to the final

It’s fair to say Newcastle have had some decent draws, seeing off division 1 opposition in every round – Brentford, Charlton, Milwall, West Ham and Birmingham all being knocked out by the Magpies.

Man Utd faced a tough trip to city rivals Manchester City in round 3, who they saw off 2-1. Scarborough, Blackburn, Oxford and Derby were also swept aside by the Red Devils, leading to today’s clash.

14:15 The players are out warming up, just 45 minutes to go until kick off now. Both ends of this famous stadium are filling up nicely as both sets of supporters arrive.

14:20 The Managers

It’s Matt Le Tissier’s first season as Manchester United boss and it’s fair to say it hasn’t really gone to plan. The man once dubbed “Le God” by Southampton fans has seen the Red Devils struggle to a 10th placed finish, which was enough to see Gordon Milne sacked last season. Having said that, Le Tissier survived a relegation at Arsenal by going on to achieve promotion at the first attempt and some years later winning the Premier League and UEFA Cup double, so maybe Manchester United will stick with him for a while yet.

By contrast, it is just over 5 years since David Black took the Newcastle job with the club having just finished midtable in Division 2. Whilst Black has won multiple league titles across Europe, 4 Champions Leagues titles and a record 10 consecutive World’s Most Handsome Man awards, many regard his re-building of this Newcastle side his greatest achievement of all. Having already achieved a 6th placed finish, the club will play European football for the first time since 1998 and it is just a question of whether it will be UEFA Cup or Cup Winners cup with a victory today.

14:30 With just 30 minutes to go, let’s take a look at some of the key players on show today

Marc Malacarne (Newcastle) – Captain and largely regarded as one of the finest ‘keepers in the league. Has a record 19 man of the match awards this season, which tells you he is as overworked as he is talented.

Antonio Carlos (Newcastle) – 31 goals in 47 game speaks for itself, but the 23 year old has been described as the new Ronaldo. I’ll let you guess why…

Arthur Joni (Newcastle) – Has drawn some comparisons with George Weah for his performances, and has been with the club since the Division 2 days.

Lee Peake (Man Utd) – The right winger has a real eye for goal, as shown by his 3 England goals this year. Really quick across the turf and was with Le Tissier at Arsenal

Dimitris Tsoukalis (Man Utd) – In his 10th season at Old Trafford now and has seen and done it all. The Greek international with an extraordinary 117 caps plays very similar to Le Tissier did in his heyday but at the age of 33 has struggled in a central midfield 2.

14:35 Both managers have been talking to reporters ahead of the game…

Manchester United manager Matt Le Tissier:

This competition is special to me and I can’t believe it’s taken this long to be involved in my first final – as a player or a manager. We’ve not had the best season but it’s been a transitional one, we’re building for the future and hopefully that future will involve European football next season. We want to give the fans something to cheer, they’ve stuck by the club over the last few years which have been very lean by our standards.”

Newcastle United manager David Black:

“It’s been a special 5 years, when the chairman asked me to come here a lot of people thought I was mad but it’s days like today when I knew it was the right decision. This club deserves to be competing at the top level and the fans above anybody else deserve this – the club have been right down to Division 3 since we last played in Europe but next season we’ll be back with the elite – I’d just love to win this cup to celebrate that in style.”

14:45 With 15 minutes to go and the players just about ready to enter the playing area for the various pre-match activities, here’s a reminder of the last meeting between these two sides:

nufc man utd last meeting

That was just 3 weeks ago as Colin Bartram and Vague Tonoian gave the Tynesiders a 2 goal lead, and although there was a nervy finish Black’s men held on for 3 points.

14:50 ABIDE WITH ME

The traditional pre-match cup final song is belted out and the players are shaking hands, the 2017 FA Cup final is just about ready to go. Before we get to the action, some final words from today’s pundits:

Steve Haslam, Blackburn manager, who won the FA Cup under David Black at Darlington in 2005:

“It’s all about keeping your cool on the day. They say anything can happen in football and this competition has shown that to be so very true down the years. Don’t do anything stupid and focus on playing your own game, David will be the calmest one in that dressing room and it tends to filter through to you as a player.”

Kieron Dyer, Arsenal manager and former Man Utd captain:

“I make Man Utd favourites – ok, they finished lower in the league but the experience in that dressing room will count more than 4 league places. In a one-off game, I think Man Utd can make their experience count. Newcastle’s day will come, they have a lot of young talent but it won’t be today.”

15:00 KICK OFF

After Kieron Dyer’s strong words, I don’t know what to think. Can you argue with a man who played 123 times for his country? Probably not. Manchester United get us underway – Wembley is a cauldron of noise, as you’d expect.

4 mins – Glorious chance for Man Utd, who have started like a train.

Klaus Hetmanski, who is the stereotypical target man figure, cushions a header into the path of Willie Hyde who takes it on the burst and finds himself one on one with Marc Malacarne. The striker tries to give the Swiss stopper the eyes but it doesn’t work and Malacarne can smother it. A big let off for Newcastle.

8 mins – First sight of goal for Newcastle as Wayne Ready goes on a run and slips the ball to Arthur Joni on the edge of the box, but his side foot effort is tame and straight at Mervyn Thom, who saves comfortably.

11 mins – What was I saying about big Klaus earlier? This time a diagonal free kick from Carl Nogan finds the big man at the bag stick but his header drifts well wide.

16 mins – You feel a goal might not be too far away, and the pressure is all from the team in red. It’s Hyde again causing the problems, but this time his shot lacks power and it’s an easy save for Malacarne.

19 mins – Newcastle’s turn now, but it’s another speculative effort. This time Wayne Ready goes on a bit of a mazy dribble, bumbling his way past a couple of challenges before a very long range shot just about reaches Mervyn Thom. He dreamt that would end differently, I imagine.

23 mins – We’ve finally reached a bit of a lull in the game after an enterprising start from both teams, let’s see what the experts have made of it so far.

Blackburn Manager Steve Haslam

“A strong start from Man Utd, using Hetmanski’s height to unsettle that porous Newcastle defence. Hyde is a live wire in and around him and hitting the big man on the diagonal is a great option to have, even if it’s not ‘The Man Utd way.’

Arsenal Manager Kieron Dyer

“We’ve seen nothing from Newcastle’s front men so far, which will be a worry for David. Man Utd look the more dangerous just because they have the big man in there, it’s a bit of a throwback so far.

27 mins – Another long ball into the box, more chaos for Newcastle to contend with. This time the ball falls for fullback Ricky Pell who hits a low shot destined for the bottom corner, until a flying Martin Bird makes the block.

32 mins – YELLOW CARD

First yellow card of the day is for Man Utd’s Norwegian midfielder Dan Holden, who stops a Newcastle breakaway  with his hand.

The game has got very scrappy in the last 10 minutes or so, to the delight of nobody.

Ross Jacobs on Twitter: “This is pretty awful – and I’m a Spurs fan!”

37 mins – Indeed Ross, we’ve seen better finals. Both sets of fans are trying to get their teams going but to no avail as yet.

42 mins – Some action! It’s a neat Man Utd move but it ends with a flashing header from Willie Hyde that flies about 4 yards wide. It’s fair to say Matt Le Tissier would have preferred big Klaus on the end of that one.

HALF TIME – Manchester United 0 – 0 Newcastle United

Not the best, but perfectly poised. Here’s some stats for you to get your teeth into with your half time cuppa.

HT stats

Arsenal manager Kieron Dyer:

“Newcastle will definitely be the happier of the two sides. They’ve had a lot of the ball but not really done that much with it, even their 2 efforts on target have been fairly weak. Man Utd have looked threatening by just getting the ball into the mixer, you feel a goal will come on the sheet law of averages”

Blackburn manager Steve Haslam:

“We know Black’s teams like to keep the ball and this team in particular have just been told to attack. Unfortunately Manchester United have been able to sit in and soak up the pressure as their main goal threat is the ball being pumped in to Hetmanski, which works well for the midfielders who aren’t the most mobile. The first goal, assuming we get one, will be massive.”

Strong words there from two Premier league legends turned managers,  but will there be key words spoken in either dressing room? We’ll see who comes out firing.

The players are back out on the pitch, just a reminder that if it is a draw after 90 minutes there will be extra time, and if it is still a draw after 120 we’ll do it all again in a replay on Wednesday.

KICK OFF – Newcastle get the second half underway.

48 mins – It’s been an untidy start to the second half with only a couple of corners to report from each side.

51 mins – Bit of sustained pressure from Newcastle for the first time in the game and they’ve won themselves a corner after good work from Bartram.

52 minsGOAL FOR NEWCASTLE! Manchester United 0 – 1 Newcastle United (Martin Bird)

Wow! Who had Martin Bird first goal? The Welsh international right back takes a mean set piece and it is his corner that starts the problems. Arthur Joni meets it with a header that is goalbound only for Ricky Pell to get in the way and deflect the ball away out of the box. Joni retrieves it though and curls a delicious ball back in, which evades everybody except Bird arriving at the back post after following in from his corner. Unbelievable!

55 mins – The Newcastle end are going ballistic, but what a story. Martin Bird is one of the few survivors of the Newcastle team David Black inherited in Division 2, he’s been with the club through it all. A great moment for the Welshman.

56 mins WOODWORK

Oh goodness me. Newcastle are still in dreamland as Man Utd hit the back post again. Hetmanski leaps and gets his knock back perfectly into the path of the arriving Willie Hyde, who smashes a shot against the post. Big miss. Huge let off for Newcastle.

60 mins – Same combination, Hetmanski to Hyde, curling effort this time but it’s wide of the mark. Those two have been a handful but their finishing has let them down.

64 mins – YELLOW CARD

Man Utd centre half Daniel Pearson is an uncompromising chap and he underlines that here by dragging down Wayne Ready, who had shown him a clean pair of heels over on the left wing.

69 mins – Antonio Carlos – having one of the more sedate games of his young career – finally gets himself half a yard of space but crashes his shot over the bar.

Blackburn manager Steve Haslam:

“It was a goal in keeping with the game, a little bit untidy but what a story. He takes the original corner and just wanders in towards the goal once Joni’s shot is blocked out. By the time it’s teased back in there he’s alive and unmarked, somehow. But can they hold on?

73 mins – Klaus Hetmanski is still a massive influence on this game, and for once he doesn’t look for his strike partner and goes for goal himself. His right foot effort is fairly central though and Malacarne gathers.

75 mins – YELLOW CARD

Frustration? You bet. Willie Hyde has had a rough day and that’s underlined by a late tackle on Edoardo Pierini. We’ve hardly mentioned Pierini today but the Italian under 21 captain has had a quiet game, and now he probably has a sore ankle too.

79 mins – Another decent chance for Man Utd.

They work it well and Lee Peake whips a great ball in and Hetmanski (who else?) gets up highest but his header is straight at Malacarne. Newcastle breathe again as we enter the final 10 minutes.

Arsenal manager Kieron Dyer:

“Le Tissier has got to be thinking of a change, hasn’t he? His team are behind with 10 minutes to go, do something, anything, to change the result of this match.”

No sign of any changes for either team, yet.

83 minsWOODWORK

Oh my days. Willie Hyde, this miss is as ridiculous as your name. Carl Nogan sends a set piece into the area, Malacarne fumbles it and it falls kindly for Hyde who drills his shot low and into the post. A let off for the ‘keeper but time is running out for Man Utd.

85 mins – SUBSTITUTION

The first change of the day, as David Black brings on Danish holding midfielder Casper Vilstrup for Edoardo Pierini. A little bit of stability for the closing minutes.

87 mins – What a miss. I’m sat here struggling to comprehend what I have just seen, but unfortunately it is my job to describe it to you.

It’s yet another Nogan set piece, it causes utter chaos and a few players hack at the ball, until Hyde hits a shot that the keeper somehow keeps out. He can’t hold on though, which presents Garry Charlery with a glorious chance to send us to extra time. He tries to break the net and blasts the ball well over the bar. The Man Utd players collapse to the turf – have they blown their chance?

90 mins – Just the two minutes of stoppage time.

FULL TIME – Manchester United 0 – 1 Newcastle United

NEWCASTLE UNITED WIN THE FA CUP

It’s over! It’s a bit of a smash and grab in the end for Newcastle but they won’t care one jot. Their fans are jubilant, having seen their club recover from Division 3 they will play in Europe for the first time in 20 years next season. Incredible.

Blackburn manager Steve Haslam:

“Newcastle have won ugly today but all that matters is they got the job done. I’m over the moon for my former gaffer and whether they deserved it or not is up for debate, however that is irrelevant as it’s all history now”

Arsenal manager Kieron Dyer:

“Willie Hyde will have nightmares tonight about those misses and Garry Charlery may not sleep for a week – how did Man Utd not score? My old club will be wondering how that got away. But well done to Newcastle.”

The Newcastle players are over with the fans, they’re being called over to go and collect the trophy. Man Utd are already truding up the steps for their runners up medals, an unnecessarily cruel tradition that is a pain on both the heart and the calf muscles having to climb all those steps.

Newcastle manager David Black

“We had to battle out there and we’re not really known for our defensive qualities, so keeping a clean sheet on a day like today is extremely pleasing. Martin Bird is one of the most professional players I have ever worked with, he is a very popular match winner. It’s been a crazy 5 years since coming here – as a fan as well as the manager it doubles up your emotions so you can imagine how I am feeling right now. But this is just the start, this team has so much more to give.”

The Newcastle players are on the way up the steps, as they do so here are the final stats for you to look over

full time stats.JPG

A much more even game in the end, not that Man Utd will care. They gave it everything. Here’s Matt Le Tissier:

“The lads are gutted, this is going to take some getting over. No European football for a club of this size is not going to go down well, but we only have ourselves to blame. We made enough chances to win 3 games, but we didn’t manage to score a single goal. We’ll come back stronger for the experience but I know I’ll be under a lot of pressure next season.”

Marc Malacarne is last up the steps and he gives the trophy a little kiss before lifting it high above his head. Wembley is a sea of black and white and with that, I’ll leave you. Thanks for joining me for today’s live text, until next time…

full time ratings.JPG

For more CM9798 check out The World According to CM9798 available on Amazon

 

Up for the Cup

Welcome! It’s 2016/17, we’ve passed the present day and it’s weird. Aston Villa are a Premier League force and Matt Le Tissier is the Man Utd manager. In many ways, I prefer this world. Anyway, let’s see what’s gone on as we cross over into 2017.

The seasons first finalists are revealed, Kieron Dyer’s Arsenal will face Damien Johnson’s Aston Villa

LC semis 17

We bowed out of the pointless cup on penalties to Chelsea in round 4, but we’ve had a much nicer time in the FA Cup.

FA QF Results

Yes for the first time in many updates, I’m still involved in a cup going into the final update of the season!

It’s the best case scenario for the semi final draw, it may be time to dust off my live text fingers.

FA SF draw

Fingers crossed on that front. Our league form has been patchy but this was a real highlight

6-0 win

Just the one signing to help strengthen us, this Dutch chap has joined for relative peanuts at £84k

roest

Dribbling and pace should make him ideal but it never turns out that way. We’re on the fringes of the European spots, and I really want to play in Europe next season. We have improved, as shown by the average ratings

nufc average ratings

Speaking of Europe, the Champions League is still inside out.

CL QF Results

Holland winning the World Cup has resulted in a spurt of good Dutch teams, though to be fair PSV have been a force for a while now. Check out Haslam taking out Bayern Munich! He learnt from the best (Gerry Francis, not me).

It could be an all Dutch final but I’m rooting for Haslam. Even if he’ll probably end up being the next England manager.

CL SF Draw

You’ll have noticed my former charges Sevilla being humbled by Ajax, and La Liga is more wide open than ever

spain title race

Just 7 points separating 1st from 11th, incredible. Meanwhile, in the Premier League…

prem top march 17

Darlington, under Phil Mulryne, look well set to win their 6th Premier League though Villa won’t give up their title without a fight. Derby, under some chancer called Scott Colcombe, have £100m in the bank, which is terrifying. We’re just outside the European spots but it’s fairly close, we are capable of going on a run to challenge the top 4 but winning the FA Cup is the priority.

The bottom of the table is…well, actually, how you might expect it.

prem bottom march 17

With the exception of the Merseyside duo sandwiched in there. Brian Little having a rare off season.

So that brings to the end a rather strange update – no managerial news at all, hopefully the game is just storing up all the drama for the next 2 months, starting with my quest to win my first cup since leaving Sevilla. See you then!

For more CM9798 head over to The Higher Tempo Press where you can catch up with my series ‘Brits Abroad’

Taking Le Tiss

The 2016/17 season is underway, which means we’re celebrating season 20 of what started as a walk down memory lane but has since turned into a stroll up Future Boulevard. As far as metaphors go, that’s one of my worst. Before this awful intro turns you off the idea, let’s get on with the update.

May as well get the traditional curtain raiser out of the way. League champions Villa take the honours against Hateley’s Man City.

CS 16

Nobody cares. Barcelona have had it with being average, in bigger news

barca sack alonso

Yes the man who I wasn’t sure who he was has proved underwhelming. Fancy that.

prats to barca

Well, he’s a headline writers dream but I’m not sure who he is either. Anyway, it’s going well

spain bottom

I mean, he’s better than Elche, but there’s some huge clubs in that bottom 7. Unsworth has a job on to keep Real Madrid up

Another club sick of being midtable is Man Utd, who finally peddle Gordon Milne

man utd sack milne

Milne had been there for 10 years and although he won the Champions League in 2012, never managed to win the Premier League. With his final 4 seasons yielding final positions of 13th, 9th, 13th and 10th, it never looked on the cards. Who do you bring in?

le tissier to man utd

Le Tissier! He had 13 years at Arsenal and enjoyed a Premier League title in 2014 but also suffered a relegation in 2004. Fair play I suppose. There’s a vacancy at Arsenal now…

dyer to arsenal

Kieron is making his way through the managerial world pretty quickly, this is his 3rd job in 3 seasons. Darlington are going well too, so this is all a bit odd. Who’s in at Darlo?

mulryne to darlo

Right. This looks odd, but he’s just guided Real Sociedad to 3rd in La Liga so he’s a manager on the up, having previously managed Man City to back to back 8th places in 2012 and 2013. Well, whatever. I think I loaned him at Darlington about 19 years ago, maybe it made a big impression.

Interestingly I wasn’t offered any of these jobs, whereas I have been in previous years. My stock has fallen considerably, so really now is the time to re-build that. I’ve decided seeing as we can’t defend, we’ll just throw caution to the wind

4-2-4

It seems to have the desired effect if game 1 is anything to go by

first game 4-1

No wonder Le Tissier left Arsenal shortly after this. Thankfully this wasn’t a false dawn and our form has been steady, the average ratings aren’t awful either

nufc squad

Joni (Weah) and Antonio Carlos (Ronaldo) have finally formed a good partnership, though Joni has had a couple of injuries. Nogueira (Zidane) is rubbish out on the left but the results have been good. Mariasson is the famous Icelandic DM/FC on his 3rd iteration

iceland re-gen 2

Speaking of 3rd iterations, Gazza is back again

gazza re-gen 2

So even though we can’t defend, it gives me great pleasure to bring you a screenshot of the table where we aren’t in the bottom half!

prem top nov 16

It’s a black & white fest at the top of the table, dare we dream of Europe? It’s such a tight table I think that would be foolish at this stage. Looks like great value at Chelsea though, so many goals. By contrast, we have the best attack and one of the worst defences. Phil Mulryne is king for now though.

prem bottom nov 16

Le Tissier has work to do at Man Utd, whilst Brian Little is having a rare off season.

So have I finally cracked it? Or will my Kevin Keegan tactics go the same way as old KK’s did in 1996? Join me next time to find out

For more CM9798 check out my book on Amazon or Brits Abroad over on the Higher Tempo Press