Matt Porter is here to brush off those post-bank holiday blues. Stockport have found life in the Premier League a doddle so far but is February 1999 the time it all comes unstuck? You can catch up with part 7 here

Well that’s January out of the way, a couple of minor news stories knocking about, the Euro came into use as the single currency, Bill Clinton faces an impeachment trial, but they both fall into the background of how the might Edgeley boys are taking the Premier League by storm – 4th place and a very well deserved 4th place at that.

First off we have Everton in the cup though, and it’ll be a strong team, why not? Not like we’re going down, although I do want to try and get a European place through the league, but I’m not a Gary Megson type to rest placers for the cup when we have a realistic chance, so I’m unchanged from the win last up against… Everton.

First half- boring. This is why the FA cup is dying people, put some effort in!

Second half – boring. Come on people! Although we do survive a scare when Everton score in the 87th minute, however it is blatantly offside (I’m sure it was blatant anyway).

Oh for fuck’s sake I hate this game sometimes. We actually start playing and batter them in extra time, contriving to miss yet another penalty. I do get a bit of heart attack when ‘Lucas fouls O’Toole’, which is slightly odd given that it is in the first half and they are the two team’s respective goalkeepers.

It of course goes to penalties, and we of course go out on penalties. So annoying.

Sheffield Wednesday away next and of course half my squad are knackered from 120 minutes of football 2 and a half days previously. Youngs, Jarni, Duberry, Sheridan and James are all exhausted so I’m going to have to bring in a few unusual faces, including my ‘big signing’ from Hereford, John Brough, at the centre of defence.

Well we are rubbish. So rubbish in fact that I don’t even bother writing anything at half time. I kind of expected that with a tired team, and at least Brough played well, he could be a real bargain. We have 2 weeks off to regroup now, 2 games doesn’t count as a slump does it?!

We’re still 4th, so get rid of that frown and get stuck into a pint of Robinsons…

We have a bit of a warm weather break in our 2 weeks off, well, Scarborough, but you have to work to a budget. Everyone comes back refreshed except Neil Edwards who comes back injured so Carlo Nash is going to have to take a day off going on the pull to sit on the bench against top of the table Newcastle. Sadly Darren Peacock is only on the bench for the hosts, otherwise we could have a proper battle of the long flowing locks between him and Dugarry.

We’re rubbish again, but away to Newcastle is tricky, and at half time its 2-0, although not a lot has happened really.

2nd half is much as you were, no chance really. I try to hide my disappointment but the lads are low and I am struggling to motivate them with anything other than clichés about league positions. I could do with an easy match next, but instead we are away at Leeds, this is definitely a slump!

And yet we are STILL 4th!

If you are wondering why I haven’t made any signings…. It isn’t for want of trying but no one wants to come to Stockport… why?! All the players for United and City live around here anyway!

Last match up, and I am going to stick with the same side…. There is no shame in losing the 2 league games we lost, and we were unlucky against Everton. It doesn’t however change the fact we haven’t scored in a month, so it would be nice to change that…. Big Pav is in goal for Leeds after his brief stint with us, so we all know how this one will end. Leeds have a front 3 of Danny Dichio, Andy Cole and Thomas Brolin, I’ll let you draw your own conclusions.

First half and it is a similar story, we are the 2nd best team and lose our skipper early, but we are not without hope…

2nd half and we are far better, I take Dugarry off at half time and reinforce the midfield and we finally score in the 80th minute, then we hit the bar. Then we hit the bar again. Then we hit the bar again and Big Pav saves the rebound. Then Dichio scores a 90th minute winner. I hate this game sometimes.

Well that was a tough month, but we’re still 5th, we’ve got rid of 3 tough away games (no home league games all month, sort it out Premier League), so let’s hope that slump passes…and we did play far better in that last game. Onwards and upwards!

That was a rough month for Matt but he’ll be back next week to try and turn it round. You can follow Matt on Twitter @PorterMatt