Ryan Reynolds’ Wrexham: A Global Force – Part 1: Reynolds Outlines His Vision | @emsonite

Greetings! We have a new member of the Blog Squad as Deano joins us. He’s pitched up at Wrexham with big plans…

On the 16th November 2020, Hollywood duo Ryan Reynolds & Rob McElhenny confirmed the takeover of Wrexham Football Club. In the interviews that followed, the megastars outlined their vision to transform Wrexham into ‘A Global Force’ and promised an initial £2m investment into the club.

With the votes coming in at 1801 FOR and 29 AGAINST, The Supporters Trust made their feelings clear – they want to see how this plays out. So, let’s find out.

Behind closed doors, the outgoing board ran a shrewd idea past the new owners. This involved teleporting them back to July 1997. A time when £2m was worth a lot more & the Club were 3 divisions higher. Both agreed this is obviously the only way Wrexham could ever conceivably become “A Global Force.” Any other plan would be unrealistic.

So, Reynolds heads back to 1997. Here he is in his time machine.

As for Rob McElhenny, to be honest I had never even heard of him before all this happened. Plus, I’ve already had to spellcheck his name twice in one episode. So, fuck him. He’s gone. Let’s assume his brain fried during teleportation – or he’s trapped in 1955 – or he’s the assistant manager if you prefer something less dramatic. Either way, his part in this story ends now.

While Ryan is swirling through the paradox, let’s do a bit of team editing.

With the media coverage and famous owner, it seems only fair that we increase the following and reputation by 5 points. And I’ve added the £2m funds that were promised earlier. The only other change is in the text colour from WHI to BLA so our players will now look like kickass Deadpools. This will certainly help with brand appeal.

Back to the game. Now, when Reynolds said “Global Force”, he really meant it. His idea is to exploit as many markets as possible across the globe (to any flat-earthers reading this; yes, I said GLOBE. I think we’re safe though, I doubt many flat-earthers are into Championship Manager. Strange bunch aren’t they. Pedalling the same thing over and over again. They need to get out more and find a new hobby. Those flat-earthers should try something new as well)

Anyway, Reynolds has imposed a national representation policy to attract a global fanbase.

Rules:

  • The squad can only have one player, per nationality
  • Reynolds was born in Vancouver but became an American citizen in 2018. To pledge his allegiance, he insists USA are represented in every starting XI
  • The starting XI must have representation from each of the seven continents; North America, South America, Europe, Asia, Australasia, Africa & Antarctica.

Now you don’t have to be Elon Musk to work out that Antarcticans are not exactly ten a penny in any walk of life – let alone in a 22-year-old football management simulation. So, a quick google search for the ‘most southerly country’ identifies Chile as the next best thing. As such, Salas’ boys will represent Antarctica.

  • The game is won when we win the Premier League – THE BEST LEAGUE IN THE WORLD as we are constantly reminded. Reynolds wants this done within 4 seasons.

Of course, Brexit was delivered just before we went back in time so we are not restricted by EEC maximum foreigner rules. (Sucking eggs disclaimer; you can take the foreigner rule off on the editor by changing the EEC status of any country from 0 to 1)

So, here’s the squad.

As you can see, Reynolds has persuaded fellow countryman Roy Wegerle to join ‘the project’ which helps me out on the Yankee front. I know, I know. That’s cheating. But it’s my blog and I can do what I want. Wegerle has plenty of experience of English football and should be decent in Division 2.

Everyone else goes on the transfer list. Got a lot of deadwood to clear out and lot of transfer business to take care of. We also need to make some money!

Join us in the next episode where we look at the recruitment strategy and start building a World XI ready for the start of the season.

That okay with you Ryan?

3 thoughts on “Ryan Reynolds’ Wrexham: A Global Force – Part 1: Reynolds Outlines His Vision | @emsonite

  1. Look for defender Fernando Cornejo for Chile. he is cheap and did decent job for me in scottish Premier with Hearts. Has influence 20 as well and was captain for Chile national team in my save.

  2. Pingback: Hereford and Back Again P04: Hodging Our Bets – Championship Manager Fans

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