Welcome back marra’s! We’re here, in the Premier League a season early so we’re already cheering up some. It may well all implode soon, as this will be a big step up. We’re aiming to at least finish 7th as per Sunderland’s Premier League second coming under Reid. You can catch up from the beginning here. The best of the new recruits in wonderboy Carsten.
In reality he barely played a game before being shipped out. Hopefully cm9798 is different! The cookery mogul chooses the tax haven of Monaco over the taxing experience of Sunderland.
We manage to secure the services of Claudio Reyna 3 years early. He’ll have to play most games so we only tie him to a 3 year contract (he wanted 7 years). Dichio picks up a serious injury and he’ll be out sunning himself for a few weeks, we’ll miss those goals. Sheff Wed first up, last seasons 9th placed finishers. Champ Man does its work.
Leicester are dispatched with a stronger performance as Phillips breaks his Premier League duck.
We batter Barnsley but can’t get it past Watson. The most surprising thing is that they are here and we are playing them!
The flying full-back Mullin will miss a good chunk of games.
If there’s a lesson in Premier League football, its found in Coventry. Bloody Coventry, it would be wouldn’t it…
Beastly. Our rich vein of pain continues as two late goals in each half from Villa steal the game from us.
The loss of Dichio has been painful, but I’m starting to think Perez isn’t going to cut it as our ‘keeper in the Premier League. Weaver or Colgan will have to step up, or we’ll be forced to sign Mike Pollit. The biggest game of the season arrives and we crash and burn.
Niall Quinn’s disco pants have fell off. Brutal. I’m staring to wonder if these players are actually capable of the step up. The games just get harder…
Wes Brown goes off injured on his debut against his former employers. S****. We switch to the rocket for the league cup and it brings us a little joy.
Naturally, this doesn’t translate back to the league as we get thrashed by relegation rivals Chelsea.
The Butler was sent packing for poor delivery. The board are upset, and we languish in a precarious position.
Worst defence in the league, but we’ve scored more than Leicester! That’s the win right there…we go 4-4-2 and scrape a 0-0 with Everton at home. Sub-par Kevin Phillips is out for three months the swine. Arse…
Dichio, Dichio, Danny Dichio, Dichio, Dichio wake up now (wake up now). The Italian finally comes to life but its just not enough. A 2-2 draw in the League Cup 2nd leg see’s us through and Dichio has another. More rejection follows…
He’d rather not play than come to Sunderland, who knew. Champ Man. Bloody Champ Man…
Our ‘keeper’s are atrocious and our strikers have forgotten how to score. It all makes for an awful period.
The nadire see’s us lose to 18th Blackburn, convincingly.
We’re rock bottom, without a hope in hell. No formational change has made much of a difference. There’s barely a player not on poor form. We’re a year early to the party, but bloody hell this is hard work. I’m not really sure what next. The sack probably. What can you do? Turn to the Cruyff.
Dichio gets two, he’s up and firing now. We get checked by Leeds…it’s pretty dirty. Goalkeeping is our main problem.
We follow by drawing 1-1 with Man City, their only shot a penalty. Wimbledon do us and I’m wondering what the hell can actually help us. And boom!
The last 18 minutes without a ‘keeper and we didn’t concede. Perhaps that’s the solution? We follow up in the league against the same opposition…three dicks score, but only two of them we care about:
The board are wrongly f***** off with the league position. In CM9798, the squad is shockingly poor and thin on any reliable talent – we are over-achieving. Here we sit, three points from safety and in the League Cup quarter final. I actually have a good feeling about things turning around.
And that marras, is enough for this week. Surely, surely things can’t get worse than conceding 41 goals in 18 games? Do we need to sack it off and play the rest of the season with no ‘keeper and an additional striker? See you next week and we’ll find out! If we can win a cup, improve our rep and sign a few of Helmer, Zaha, Roy, Hutchison etc we might be able to start to compete.
You can follow Andrew on twitter: @KingOfTheRooks