Ryan Reynolds’ Wrexham: A Global Force – Part 11: Europe, how sophisticated! | @emsonite

Here’s Deano to lighten your Thursday with the latest from Ryan Reynolds’ Wrexham. If it turns out like this in real life it’ll be a very sound investment…

Recap of Ryan’s rules and milestones:

  • Only 1 player, per nationality in the squad
  • All 7 continents & USA represented in starting XI (Chile represents Antarctica)
  • £20m bank balance at end of season 1 – complete
  • £30m bank balance at end of season 2 – complete
  • Win Premier League within 4 seasons – complete 
  • Season 4 – good Champions League run

Welcome back. It’s throwback Thursday #TBT. Remember the time when Wrexham won the Premier League? Only seems like a week ago.

Yes, Wrexham FC are Premier League Champions. It’s a massive story and footballing royalty have been queuing up to offer Ryan Reynolds their congratulations. The likes of Maradona and Pele all tried to get in touch, but they were told to get in line as Micky Quinn was coming for tea.

If you had told Ryan Reynolds back in 1997 that one day, he’d be sharing digestives with ‘The Micker’ (as Mr Black knows him) he would not have believed you. It’s a dream come true for Ryan. Look how proud he is.

And rightly so. He’s taken Wrexham from Div 2 to the top of THE BEST LEAGUE IN THE WORLD! Now, winning the PL obviously means we qualify for the Champions League.  And Reynolds would love a good run in Europe.

As for me, this is my last season at Wrexham & you’d think I’d be really excited by managing Wrexham in Europe? Well yes and no. I must confess I’m not a fan of the Champions League. I’ll watch the final, maybe the semi-finals. But other than that, it just bores me. Maybe it’s because I’m a Toon supporter and we’re never in it. But my main gripe is that it just takes too long. Too many dead rubbers.  Too many second chances for the big teams. And don’t get me started on away goals!

The 97/98 CL format aint too bad though, so I’ll stop whinging and get on with it.

Another stadium expansion takes us above the 20k mark. No hospitality boxes though, this is a club for the people.

Squad numbers are thin so let’s see if we can strengthen. There are not too many players out there from different countries that can improve our first team. I’ve had to pass up on a lot of talent due to Ryan’s one nation policy.

Look at all this French talent that I could get if I didn’t already have Trezuguet.

As tempting as Zidane on a free is. Ryan reminds me of the rules.

Poborsky leaves. It’s good money for a squad player on big wages. £7m is a record for West Ham and it’s also a record sale for us.

We have managed to bring a few players in though.

Marc Vivien Foe (Cameroon) is the only player that’s guaranteed to start. Picked him up for 36k before his contract ran out.  Good signing.

The others are for the squad and will need to fight for their place. Players such as N’Doram (Chad), Popescu (Romania) & Antactican back up veteran Ivo Basay.

Our biggest name signing is Henrik Larsson (Sweden).

The Swede takes his place on the bench for the Charity Shield. We’re up against Villa who won the FA Cup last season. Mijatovic gives Villa a two-goal lead before we secure a flattering 5-2 win. Larsson scores on his debut in one of the few positives from the game. The result was more down to Villa’s rookie goalkeeper more than anything. It’s a concern.

Still, Reynolds is ‘pleased’ and we’ve got ourselves another trophy, even if it is only the Charity Shield. They all count – ask David Moyes.

Berkovic (Israel) and Ayala (Argentina) join the ranks just before the Euro deadline.

The draw is made and, well, it could be better – but it could be worse I suppose.

Obviously R9’s Inter Milan are the powerhouse here. But I’m confident we can beat Hajduk Shit and Celtic should be weakened without their star striker who is now warming my bench.

First up are Hajduk Shit. 4-1. Antarctican superstar Zamorano may be 33 these days but he still knows where the goal is. Easy peasy.

Bore Draw at Celtic Park. Nothing to report here. Nothing happened.

A drubbing against Inter. And R9 didn’t even score. Our qualification is now in tatters.

Truth be told, it’s not going well this season.  We’re 8th in the Premier League and Man Utd are storming the title. Kasey Keller is conceding a lot of shots on target and there’s not much I can do about it.

Reynolds isn’t happy.

Inter are surely going to win the group. The best we can hope for is a high scoring 2nd place. Realistically, we’re going need to get 6/7 points from our last 3 games to reach the Quarter Finals.

As I’ve said, it’s my last season in charge. But Reynolds may well decide to get rid of me early if things continue the way they are.

Can we turn it around? Tune in next week to find out

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