The World According to Warnock | Episode 1 The Art of Management | @CornishZak

New week, new blog! Zak is making a return (Return of the Zak) but what’s he up to?

“The art of management has not changed. The art of it is still 80 to 90 per cent man-management. It is just a matter of getting the best out of what you have got.” Neil Warnock.

Hero or villain? Friend of foe? Football league legend or Premier league failure? Neil Warnock is certainly A divisive figure who you’ll either love or loathe. No matter which way you sway, there’s no denying his managerial record is an impressive one and his (most) recent retirement declaration will be both applauded and bemoaned up and down the UK.

41 years. 18 managerial posts. 1603 matches. 8 promotions. One Colin Wanker. [Sorry… Neil Warnock].

So, why here and now on #CM9798? Fortunately for you lot there’s a Plymouth Argyle-supporting blogger on the books who’s partial to a bit of Colin. Let’s honor his managerial achievements the Champ man way!

The Challenge: Neil Warnock’s kid brother, Niall, is on the managerial market. Sibling rivalry denotes that he must outdo his his brother at every turn, so will spent the first season biding his time before taking over the *randomly generated newly promoted team.

*Random normally means Kidderminster Harriers. Let’s see.

  1. Win double promotion from Division 3 to Division 1 with the newly promoted team (replicating Warnock’s success with Notts County from 1989-1991).
  2. Get promoted again from Division 2 with a new team. (As per Huddersfield 1995).
  3. Drop back to Division 3 and get promoted with an unfancied team (See Plymouth Argyle 1996).
  4. Get three teams promoted to the Premier league (as per Sheffield United 2006, QPR 2011 and Cardiff 2018).
  5. Take over a Division 1 team at the foot of the table post-Christmas and perform a Houdini escape act (See Rotherham 2016).

Note we are not able to get a team promoted from the Conference in #CM9798 – as it’s not a playable league – so can’t replicate Warnock’s success with Scarborough in 1987.

After all those achievements it’s time to actually win a trophy…. so… lets try to win ALL OF THEM. No loyalty needed – get the journeyman bug and try to move to suit the competition. Domestically; the League Cup, FA Cup, Premier League and Charity Shield. In Europe, UEFA Cup, Cup Winners Cup, European Cup and Super Cup. Finally the World Club Cup.

Can the fictional Niall Warnock out-do his “brother” by the time the CM time bomb ticks down? 29 seasons should be enough, right? [Don’t forget I forfeit season 1].

Let’s Go!

Fast forward though 9798:

Right then, just the Treble for Fergie in 9798. When do Man Utd not win the league?

In Division 3 we wave goodbye to Notts County, ironically the team who’s success we need to replicate in challenge 1.

This is how the end-of-season awards look, with Roger Boli firing an impressive 40 goals and Neil Sullivan an unlikely PFA Player of the year.

So.. who will replace Notts County in the football league?

You guessed it.. Kidderminster Harriers! Join us next time as Niall Warnock starts recruiting for Division 3, as we play through a large chunk of 98/99 season.

Until next time, Colin.

Leave a Reply