Hello. It’s been a while. A long long while actually. I’m super excited to be back blogging again. Apologies in advance for any rustiness. As is tradition with the Blog Squad we did our annual secret Santa and Zak got me the absolutely stunning Parma shirt from 97/98. The challenge he has set me is to drop Parma into the Premier League and dethrone Manchester United in the first season. To make it more interesting i’m not going to sign anyone. Original Parma team only.

Barnsley have been relocated to Serie A to make room for Parma.

This is how we will start life in Parma.

August

It’s a very good start to life in the Prem for Parma. 5 games. 4 wins and a sloppy draw against Derby of all teams.

First game was this cracker against Chelsea. Mark Hughes scoring after 7 and 12 minutes with a Blomqvist equaliser wedged in between. Crespo levelled before half time and the saviour was Asprilla with a winner in the last 10 minutes.

September

That draw with Derby was followed up by an embarrassing loss to Leicester, curtesy of Heskey. We pick up good wins against Newcastle and Everton and remain in top spot.

A solid win on the road at Bolton with all 3 strikers getting on the scoresheet. The 2-3-1-2-2 is working a treat and Chiesa is a dream, slotting in anywhere in the front 4 spots.

October

October is another good month. We do lose against Man Utd though. They absolutely batter us 3-1 at Old Trafford. We beat Blackburn again, this time in the League Cup to progress to round 4 against Newcastle.

The front 3 are working well so far and sharing the goals around nicely.

November

November is a disaster! 3 draws allows Man Utd to take top spot by 3 points and a game in hand. The draws against bottom placed Wimbledon and Coventry were particularly disappointing. We battered Liverpool but just couldn’t score.

This was our best performance to date. Every player was back on form.

December

Back to back defeats in London pretty much hands the title to Man Utd. We are now 7 behind and they still have a game in hand. We were 2-0 up against Tottenham so losing was an awful result.

Away from the league we continue our good run in the League Cup by seeing off Newcastle with an 83rd minute Crespo winner. We face Leeds in the Quarter Final.

January

January is all about the domestic cups and we make fantastic progress! We struggle against 9 man Birmingham and get lucky with an 84th minute penalty. In the next round we fall behind against Millwall before brushing them aside. QPR await in the 5th round. In the League Cup we go to extra time before Crespo sees off Leeds. Division 2 Blackpool will be our opponents in the 2 legged Semi Final. In the league we drop to third thanks to a loss at Villa and a terrible draw at Derby. We are 6 points behind Man Utd with Leicester 2nd.

February

February is more cup chaos. We batter Blackpool home and away to advance to the League Cup Final with a stick of rock in our back pockets. QPR get destroyed in the FA Cup to set up a quarter final with Tottenham. Losing against Everton in the League is really poor. We are 9 points off the leaders and Arsenal have snuck in to 2nd ahead of us.

March

March sees us beat Spurs 2-1 to progress to the FA Cup Semi Finals. We lose more ground in the title race but who cares when we pick up the first silverware of the season! The 1st half is cagey at best but a goal from Strada early in the 2nd half ignites the game. Scholes replies instantly only for Crespo to put us back ahead straight from kickoff. Asprilla seals the win late on for us. Parma Violets all round at Wembley!

April

April is a complete car crash. We get a win against West Ham and that is it. Blackburn knock us out the FA Cup at Old Trafford to end our hopes of more silverware.

May

Two wins and two losses pretty much sum up our season. It all started so well but the wheels quickly came off. We do end the season with the League Cup though so it wasn’t a total waste. Why not give this challenge a try. Pick a team from another country and drop them in to the Premier League to try and topple Man Utd. No transfers allowed.

I’ll leave you with how it went for Barnsley in Serie A.