Hello and welcome back to the hellscape that is Andrew’s mind. Yes, I am even writing in the third person. That said, you’ll find no water breaks, no sponsored advertisements, no half-time shows to endure 90-year-old Chris Martin from Coldplay trying to be cool. Not even a Diana Ross.

Oh yes, the point of this post! So, as we continue to suffer from World Cup fever, we’ve made Nation entirely made of managers, coaches, scouts or other wild low tier backroom elements from as many nations competing at WC USA 2026 as possible where someone exists in the database.

Which nations have contributed? Well, given there are 39667395937 teams competing this year, I’ll leave it to you the reader to figure that out. Here’s the squad:

It is actually very decent. Taffarel, Cannavaro, Deschamps, Lamouchi, Montella and co should have the potential to go all the way. A decent test awaits us prior to the main competition.

Mexico at home is great. No altitude sickness for us. Should I just relent and stop this madness now?

It seems we have a rage issue that won’t be resolved 28 days later, never even mind by the World Cup. We play the next one at home and there’s nowhere I’d Radebe.

Barbarez cuts South Africa into a fade. That said, playing against players from Barnsley and Fulham really doesn’t give us any indication of quality. We did switch to a 2-3-1-3-1 and so far seems to be doing us much better.

The subs make the difference against Norway as Montella and Scaloni sit out for a month with broken jaws. Arnold and Voller both on the sheet, with AMRC Barbarez pushed upfront also doing a solid. After suffering a broken jaw, Scaloni breaks a shoulder for good measure. It works out anyway.

Pedro Roma is a ‘keeper I’ve never bought on this game, and he is making a case for being the no. 1. Voller the hero again. The qualifiers complete, the draw is made.

That is a decent group. We should be able to top it. 1997 closes with a bang.

Voller is an absolute machine at the minute. No doubt as the year turns and the game updates he’ll go crap before the World Cup; he will be 38 by then to be fair. Donis? Donis? Who the hell is Donis? He’s on the scoresheet and he’s a Greek legend.

As predicted Voller begins to decay. Pedro gets a man of the match though, so there is that.

The last game sees many players injured and a side with no strikers lose 2-1 to Mexico at low altitude.

So here it is happy World Cup everybody’s having fun…

A team we destroyed a few months ago, hold us to a goalless draw. And just like real-life, Sabri’s World Cup is over before it can get started. Not as bad as a damaged ego I guess.

The king of scorpion kicks players a blinder keeping our 17 shots on target at bay mostly.

A win is a win though. That should do it. Deschamps is out after two yellow cards. Football would be so much better without cards wouldn’t it. And offsides. Sure. RUDI RUDI RUDI RUDI!!!

He Vollers it into the net, and after 21 shots we finally get a winner.

Oh no.

It could, however, be worse.

Spoke too soon.

Italy lost to Norway and finished 2^nd. Unbelievable. Do I not like that. We go ahead. Deschamps is taken down through on goal. No card, no yellow or red. Injured. We continue to batter Peruzzi’s goal. Italy pick up a red. 60 seconds later we are out.

Furious.

Peruzzi gets man of the match. Can’t believe it. Total sickener. They go on to win it in similar fashion.

Golden goal my arse. Who’s idea was that? Bring it back? Right. That’s it. Enough World Cup fever for me. I hope you enjoyed that, and I hope you are enjoying USA 2026. God bless, and see you later.