Hello and welcome to another week of what the f*** has this man done to CM9798. Yes, I don’t know how I live with myself. But live on we do. Last week, the lack of other goal scorers meant Fowler’s ban was further extended. Will Everpool cope? If you missed last week, you can catch up, here.

We open with the League Cup, and in a three-way derby, Suncastle come unstuck to their less illustrious neighbours, Boro.

Someone is inevitably splashing the half and half cash, and in this instance, it’s the Crystal Dons.

Welcome back again to the Half and Half Premier League! Last week, Robbie Fowler’s match ban was extended to eight games with an additional five earned at the close of the month. If you want to be reminded why, you can do so here.

“(Christmas), and the scarves coming out! (Christmas), half and half’s all about!” Yes, it’s December and we must plough on through this field of s**** to the end of the season to reap what we have sewn. Derbyham Foresty, in no danger of financial trouble, sell their top scorer:

Welcome back to the Half and Half Premier League! Confused? So are we. We’re approaching the mid-point in this madness, but there are clear and obvious winners and losers despite the mixed nature of the new league.

This week we start November with a keen eye elsewhere. As a massive advertisement for the league, the UEFA Cup sees Arseham take on the Crystal Dons. A draw sees the Dons through on aggregate.

Today we bring you the episode you missed before Christmas when the bugs of WordPress had it out for the Half & Half Premier League, hopefully you can see this monstrosity this time round…

Hello and welcome back! I’d have something witty to say, but by god this is a shocking idea that should never have left my head. Last time out, A City United continued to do season one Man Utd’s work as usual. If you missed it, you can catch up here.