CM9798 Academy – Part 10: Last Minute Plans

The CM9798 Academy have had a short but illustrious history. Consecutive promotions after being launched into the murky world of Division 3 were as welcome as they were unexpected and life in Division 1 has been a mixed bag. If you’re new to this, the gist of the Academy is that we can only sign free transfers aged 23 and under and everybody is up for sale. We’re just a cash cow. There’ll be a full graduate review at the end of this episode, but first we have to end the season. Can we get out of Division 1 at the first attempt? The table says: Possibly.

Div 1 top january S3

Continue reading

When Diego met Paul: Part 3

Ross is back with another episode of the Gazza and Maradona soap opera from White Hart Lane. It’s January and both survived the Christmas party. Catch up with part 2 here

Hello, welcome back one and all. Maradona has rocked up at the lane. And he would only join if the man below joined.

1

Don’t let the look deceive you, it seems to be working.

We left last time in a place. Doing well in the league and only really Man Utd pulling away in first.

New year and its 3rd round FA Cup and home to Walsall time. Easy right?

2

Not a happy bunny. We score they score, we score again, they score again. A replay awaits us.

3

For some reason Kieron Dyer called me up about taking this job. Can’t think why, plus how did he get my number?

In typical spurs style, we put our struggles against a lower league behind us and beat a good prem side away.

4

This win gears us up nicely for the replay.

5

Yeah take that Walsall. Nice to see Rory Allen score. I had almost forgotten about Chris Armstrong as well.

Coventry feel the force of my anger next. Even David Howells scores. This did cause a few minutes of panic in the stands as people thought the world was ending. Managed to calm the situation and win 6-1.

6

Disaster strikes.

7

Tried a bicycle kick, only problem was it was in the car park. He asks if he could help with coaching, after crying with laughter for 10 mins I stop rolling on the floor and realise he wasn’t joking. OK I say, but no showing off.

We do miss his creativity in the next game (the dreaded champ man curse strikes)

8

Coventry in the next round of the cup next, again it should be fine as we blew them away only a few games ago.

Sadly my strikers have gone shy and the board aren’t happy.

9

You me both pal.

Another replay, maybe it’s how we are going to win the cup.

Word of warning NUMBER 36: Never let Maradona apply gel to your star keeper.

10

We continue our odd league/cup form by tearing Blackburn a new one. Sir Les even finds his scoring boots again.

FA Cup replay again, something about playing under the lights at the Lane that gets the players going.

12

Tough last ten mins but I’m not losing to a side with 83-year-old Gordon Strachan in their team.

More good news as Diego is passed fit for the West Ham, on the bench but it means I get my office back. Lad never took his shoes off and it stinks of cigars.

13

Nice. Even Judas (no I’m not forgiving or forgetting) gets a 10, plus Maradona get 20 mins.

Next up Barnsley away. Gazza winds Diego up by telling him the Barnsley fans will turn up with pitch forks and burning effigies after what happened 12 years before. I find Maradona in the toilets wide eyed and curled up on the floor.

Let’s say he didn’t have the best of the games.

14

Nor did anyone. The Zoo gets sent off and we somehow struggle to get near their goal.

This lets Man United go far ahead. Not happy.

Quarter-Final time, away to Newcastle. I tell the players they have a chance of winning this cup. And to actually win it in one game.

They actually can listen.

15

Remember Darren Anderton? Yeah, he was finally fit. And he scored. A chance for a semi for my players to enjoy.

I get an email while back at HQ. ‘YOUR PLAYER SAIB CAN’T PLAY FOR YOU ANYMORE’ stupid work permit was denied. Yet somehow, he gets a pay off of nearly a million.

Rules state I have to replace like for almost like. As Saib was an attacking midfielder this opens up a spot for another. Bakayoko will do. Diego asks ‘who this is?’ Gazza just wants to know if the local Ice Cream van comes to the training.

(Note the lack of screen shot, it was erm.. lost in the post)

So that rounds up part 3. The league maybe out of reach, but can we get Maradona to Wembley, to win the cup for Tottingham?

Top of the table looks like this:

16

And now the bottom:

17

Can Barnsley pull off a great escape? Probably not.

Anyway I have 43 voicemails from K.Dyer to deal with. Most of them just him talking in awful Italian.

Ciao for now.

You can follow Ross on Twitter @Riddley82

VOTE NOW! We’re looking to find the greatest CM9798 team and we need your help

CM9798: The Greatest Team

Greetings to you. October 31st will be CM9798’s 21st birthday, so to celebrate the game being legally able to drink in America we’re going on the hunt for the greatest CM9798 11. We did a Community 11 about 3 years ago but we are older and wiser now. Neil Sullivan was in the voting for goodness sake.

The voting options are a mix of cult players with the odd genius thrown in. Ask yourself who is the CM9798 player you think of in that position. Somebody you signed all the time, an unlikely hero. We all know Rivaldo and Zidane are better than Emmers but I know who I think of when I load up CM9798.

Lining up in the famous 2-3-1-2-2 formation, I need your help in finding the greatest team of all.

Vote below – there will be weekly articles to try and sway your vote if you want to bide your time before choosing. The results will be announced on October 31st.

Goalkeeper – Click here to read more

Centre Backs – Click here to read more

Wingbacks – Right and Left

 

Defensive Midfielder – Click here to read more

Central Midfielder – Click here to read more

Attacking Midfielders/Forwards – Click here to read more

Strikers – Click here to read more

 

Short Stories: Kaiserslautern – Part 1

It’s new series time! After the success of the Newcastle United short story (which went on longer than planned) I threw it over to you lot to decide what our new short story would be:

 

To Germany! But first, why Kaiserslautern?

Kaiserslautern were relegated from the German Bundesliga in the 1995/96 season. Under the guidance of former Bayern Munich manager Otto Rehhagel, they were promoted back at the first attempt. Remarkably though they went on to win the Bundesliga, pipping Bayern Munich to the title – the first side to ever win the Bundesliga title as a newly promoted team.

Somehow, I have to try and replicate that.

Obviously nothing much was expected of Kaiserslautern so their squad on CM9798 is not equipped to win the league. Real life top scorer Olaf Marschall for example isn’t bad but can he match his 21 league goals?

Marschall

I guess we’ll see. The squad is full of injuries and a young Michael Ballack. Big fan of Ratinho though. As a name, at least.

Squad

There’s £3m in the bank and I don’t want to buy the usual suspects, so I’ve spent £2.4m on Laurent Robert because everyone knows his name. I’ve also never bought him on CM9798 so what a time we’ll have. Alex Notman has joined on loan, but he’s only 16 so it’s merely a squad depth exercise.

Wagner is in the Germany squad and wants to move to a bigger club. There’s nothing worse than having somebody complain at you all season so I’ve moved to cover off his exit. Incidentally we’ve made £3m in season ticket sales, so that’s something. Both come highly rated, even if their stats disagree with that.

dziwiorhahn

The biggest problem is the Non-EU rules. The game says I’m allowed three but how old Otto managed it in real life I have no idea. Some EU passports I suspect. Kuka is the odd man out to begin with as Ratinho, Kadlec and Sforza are deemed more important.

first match

We’re 1-0 down after 3 minutes. 2-0 down after 20. Great start. But there are signs of life and Marschall has us level before half time. I may grow to love him. He pops up with a late winner and he’s already a seventh of the way towards his real total.

3-2 rostock

Notman has torn a hamstring. At 16. Wow. Didn’t they teach him how to warm up in PE?

PSG and Bayern Munich bid for Wagner. Hmm. I’ve prepared for this. I don’t want their money but I will take some of their cast offs in exchange.

Before any of that can transpire though it’s Duisburg away in the cup. A match so important it’s scheduled the same day as a Czech Republic game which costs us three players though only Kadlec plays anyway. Robert starts up front with Riedl in to the left AM position. Marschall nets two more and the two afforementioned lads get on the scoresheet and we’ll see round 2.

duisbug cup win

Duisburg are a Bundesliga side, so maybe we’re not so bad. Hertha Berlin in round 2 – who have Bryan Roy, by the way.

It’s Kalrsuhe away in the league. They’ve oddly just bid for 36 year old Andreas Brehme but they have Sean Dundee and Thomas Hassler, which doesn’t bode well for us. Naturally both score but their keeper gets man of the match. It’s a heavy defeat though.

3-0 karlsruher

I think this is ok for us…?

wagner to bayern

Fink will play the DM role whilst Dreher is a better goalkeeper than we currently have. Dreher makes his debut away to Schalke whilst Fink is injured for a few weeks. Jens Lehmann keeps us out for an hour but Sforza eventually equalises. A good point.

1-1 Schalke

Every team in the Bundesliga has one icon of the game, it’s actually incredible. A bit like the MLS a few years ago where every team had at least one player who had played in the English Leagues. Hamburg, armed with Thomas Gravesen, lead twice before Marschall nets twice to nick a point. We’re a weird team.

2-2 hamburg

We beat Duisburg in the cup and are tasked with doing it again in the league. It’s a topsy turvy game but Marschall has the last word. He is good you know.

duisburg 3-2

Larry Bob settles our meeting with Wolfsburg. Their DBP (designed banter player) is Claudio Reyna if you were wondering.

1-0 wolfsburg

Hertha Berlin (Bryan Roy AND Gabor Kiraly) are next in the cup and we’ve all of a sudden become very, very dull. Larry Bob, 1-0. Again. No extra points for style.

1-0 berlin

That’s two Bundesliga sides in a row so surely we’re due some luck in round 3.

german pokal 3rd round draw

Sigh.

Bielefeld’s best known player scores twice in the opening 13 minutes to leave the Fritz Walter with all three points. That looks like a bad result but they are absolutely flying.

2-0 kuntz

I really don’t fancy us at Bayern but the most ruthless goalscorer in football history gives us the lead…only for us to lose after a second half collapse.

2-1 bayern

There’s no shame in that but the board are less than satisfied. Does the term newly promoted mean nothing to the German people?

Steffen Effenberg and Borussia MGB (don’t make me type it out) are the last opponents of the update. Olaf is mad. I’m a little vexed but you’ve seen nothing like Olaf. He runs to the final seconds so he can secure his hat-trick and keeps the board off my back ahead of the International break.

4-0 MGB

Incidentally, Passlack translates from German to English as “Pulis”.

All of that leaves us 6th after just 9 games. They only play 34 in a German season and I don’t have any European commitments so it’ll be a solid three parter.

Table October

Marschall is well on the way to matching his 21. It’s the defence letting us down at the moment.

Marschall October

After just 9 games, the answer to “can Dave win the Bundesliga with Kaiserslautern?” is probably not. But it’s a long season and Bielefeld surely won’t keep this up. Join me next week to see what happens next.

 

 

CM9798 Academy – Part 9: Rich Heritage

Welcome back! It’s fair to say we found adapting to life in Division 1 tougher than we did during the step up to Division 2. We’ve taken some hammerings but shown we can still mix it with the big lads on our day. With such a young team, it’s inevitable there will be up days and down days. Are the playoffs a step too far for the Academy? The eternal struggles continues with a trip to QPR.

Continue reading

Bettering Stan the Man: Part 3

Peter is back in Bury! After successfully keeping Bury in Division 1, what now for Peter and the Shakers? You can find Part 1 here & 2 here

Survival in the second tier with relative ease and games to spare, so in one sense, my efforts have already bettered Stan Ternent’s. In the summer of 1998, he chose to go out on a (massive) high, taking up the reins at fellow Lancashire side Burnley in the league below; the allure of managing a sleeping giant with higher potential than the Shakers were likely to afford him was just too tempting, and much to everyone’s chagrin, the board’s replacement was a certain Neil Warnock. ‘Colin’, as he’s more affectionately known by supporters of sides throughout the country, didn’t have quite the same positive reputation he ‘enjoys’ now, and in his 15-month stint at Gigg Lane, he masterminded a relegation, as well as lumbering the club with the costly signatures of many players he’d previously worked with, many of whom were simply not up to the task. My challenge is simple: avoid the drop and look for younger talent to lower the age profile of the squad…

I attempted not to upset the apple-cart (and budget) too quickly by bringing in lots of new faces all at once, but for some, the attraction of leaving ‘Schoolboy’ and ‘Minor Team’ to adorn the white and royal blue in the old Division 1 was all too apparent. In a similar theme to last season, goals were still going to be a major headache for me. A narrow win away at newly promoted Walsall was swiftly followed by the customary exit at the first hurdle of the League Cup to Merseyside giants Everton, licking their wounds after an unexpected demotion from the bright lights of the Premiership. It took until the seventh fixture of the campaign to register more than one goal in a single match, which was only enough to share the spoils with Tranmere Rovers. Another close encounter with Reading yielded maximum points, and the players showed tremendous fight to come within inches of making the derby at home to promotion favourites Manchester City a six-goal thriller.

1

The defence as a whole seemed to be a little bit more porous than last year’s collective effort, with six games on the spin shipping one. Although that doesn’t sound a lot on the face of it, without the requisite increase at the other end, it was making any hope of even matching 1997/1998’s final position difficult, even in the first third of the new campaign. October was shaping up to be particularly miserable until Port Vale came to town. My side had come to rely more and more on Jason Peake’s dead ball skills as the months wore on, and thus it proved against the Valiants.

2

The league meeting with the blue half of Liverpool went precisely as I’d expected: a 3-0 reverse flattered my outclassed group. Thankfully, the city of Stoke-on-Trent had two sides in the same division as me, and the red and white variety were beyond woeful.

53

Whilst it’s certainly true to state that it took a long time to get back in front, this was the rarest of rare feats: a) an away win, b) a convincing away win, c) a striker scoring more than once in a game and d) actually managing to outshoot and outscore the opposition considerably. I could scarcely believe a certain Ray Wilkins was still turning out at the age of 42, having been drafted in as player-manager in an attempt to arrest Stoke’s slide down the table.

4

The triumph was the first in a triad of wins, and I somehow conspired to end November unbeaten… but sadly overlooked once more for Manager of the Month. Whilst I was ruing the Football League bigwigs’ ignorance, Stockport County delivered a harsh lesson of their own, spanking five past my shellshocked troops.

6

The game also marked the debut of 19 year-old right winger Warren Stevenson, and he at least had something to remember the occasion by in a positive manner. Recommend to me by ‘League Scout 2’, within three games, he was second top scorer at the club. With three. In December.

To my relief, the huge setback didn’t take hold of the dressing room for long, as the cloggers down in Berkshire were in festive mood, once again channelling the true spirit of Christmas and gifting Bury three precious points. Huddersfield Town were not so generous, and another ‘0’ was present (no pun intended) in the goals for column.

7

The FA Cup had drawn me against lower league opposition, which is usually no barrier whatsoever to the other side going through at the Shakers’ expense. Exeter City bucked that particular trend though, being beaten 2-0. Bury were in the hat for the fourth round, which is something neither Ternent nor Warnock managed to do at the helm.

8

About where I hoped to be in the standings at just past the halfway point, and still in the most famous domestic cup competition in all of football, you’ll have to wait until Part 4 to see which huge name I got!

When Diego met Paul: Part 2

Ross is back with one of our quirkier series’ – Maradona and Gazza together at last. Playing for Tottenham Hotspur. If you missed part 1, here it is.

Hello, and welcome back to this mini-series. If you haven’t read the first part then well done you on finding this without it.

So far, so good down at the Lane. Diego has rented an apartment near Soho, can’t think why. And Gazza has found his Gold suit from 96. Let the games begin!

I’m not a big fan of the League cup. No Europe if you win it, but Diego wants to play.

1

Yay! 6-2! Whoopy do! Bar Maradona the side I put out was weaker than usual. And yet we still go through.

The league is what I want. But before we kick another ball this surprise happens.
Normally does well but hey ho, not my problem.

2

Palace come to the Lane, we get off to a Dyer start but Sir Les takes over after.

3

Do love a hat-trick. Les seems to be loving having Diego play behind him. Two assists from the curly haired Argentinian and the fans love it.

4

Noooooooooooo. Not again. He has begun the season so so so well. He was even mistaken for Maradona because he grew his hair out a bit.

With England finishing runners up to Italy they will need a play off to get to France.

5

Yikes. But the second leg at home should make it easier.

Liverpool away and we have no Gazza or Carr. Not a good feeling about this one.

6

Hate it when I’m right. We barely enter there half. Thou Diego did visit the Cavern Club and get a load of Beatles memorabilia. Hard day’s night indeed.

Luckily, we are at home next. We play Wednesday on Saturday.

7

Stefanovic was so upset by that previous pun he lashed out on David Howells. How anyone would want to hurt David is beyond me. Good to see Nielsen and Jurgen on the scoreboard.

David was still raging about this on training. And as a experienced member and legend, I ask Maradona to give him some words of advice.

8

FFS Diego! What did you tell him? Lamping Euell was not ideal but we held on to take a point.

Now my rule on transfers is that I can only buy what I sell. Yet no one until this point wants to leave. Not even Judas Campbell. Until…

9

Laters Ramon. Just as long as someone wants you that is.

Pointless cup time. Hoping for a 90 min run around for fringe players and if we get knocked out then so be it. What I don’t need is pens.

10

Went on for hours. Diego kept texting me during the shootout asking what movie to rent from Blockbusters. He didn’t understand you needed a card. Anyway, Colin Calderwood misses the crucial pen, but we are out. Never mind.

The players go off to international duties. England struggle against the Scots. Andy/Andrew Cole scores what could be a crucial last min goal.

11

Sir Les wasn’t happy not playing against Scotland. I tell him to take it out on Southampton.

12

Good lad. Normally a bogey ground we never break sweat.

Why the second leg wasn’t played straight after the first is beyond me but here we are, and this time Ferdinand does start.

13

He sends 70,000 home happy and relieved.

14

This is what happens when you celebrate to much Paul. And just before Man Utd show up.

15

We almost take 3 points, but Butt (always wanted to write that) heads an equaliser.

The next game is away to Bolton. I not saying anything, bar this pic from full time.

16

So annoying.

I say we need to hit more goals to climb back up the league. The last few draws leave us 4th. We need more from our Argie magic man.

We take out our frustrations on Dave’s men.

17

And then Chelsea

18

I let the lads boys celebrate at Diego’s gaff.

19

Hmmm. Around Xmas? Well he has played well so I will let him off.

Anyway, here are the tables, both and top and bottom you lucky lot.

20

Which leaves…

21

Barnsley are pretty much doomed and we hang onto Man United’s coat tails just about.

Until next time, ciao for now.

You can follow Ross on Twitter @Riddley82@Riddley82

CM9798 Academy – Part 8: Top Billing

Welcome back! Part 7 was out of this world. I really didn’t expect to be promoted to Division 1 at the first attempt so winning Division 2 came as a complete surprise. This update will pick up in the close season and will take you through to October 99 – which means I owe you a graduates update but as I alluded to at the end of Part 7, there’s more on the move. Sigh.

Continue reading

Short Stories: Newcastle United – The Aftermath

Hello! Just a quick note, I’ve uploaded the NUFC save file for download so you can carry on where I’ve left off. The only way to do it is for me to upload the whole folder, but it is the only saved game. Basically treat it as a new download and follow the instructions on the How To page. The good thing is you can have multiple CM9798 folders and just mount them all on separate drives, I’ve got about 4 on the go, so do enjoy.

The NUFC save can be downloaded here

Let me know how you get on, there’s £50m in the bank so whether you want to continue my legacy of blooding the youngsters or splashing the cash, the choice is yours. Do tweet me with anything good that happens.

Have a great weekend – see you on Sunday for the Academy

Dave

Bettering Stan the Man: Part 2

Peter Taylor is back with Bury. It’s been a short while so uou can find Part 1 here. Can he succeed with the survival bid but with more time to spare than Stan Ternent did for Bury in the ‘old’ Division One? Let’s find out…

23 goals from 29 games had me ranked in 23rd in that particular metric, but thankfully, the only one that really mattered was being 14 points clear of the relegation zone when entering the final third of the campaign. A battling point accrued across the Pennines at Bradford City wasn’t capitalised upon, and the reverse fixture against Man City predictably ended with a heavy defeat. Frank Clark’s virtual management was proving to be a lot more effective than his real-life efforts, and the season tickets of the blue supporters at Maine Road remained intact.

Two encounters pitting the Shakers against north-eastern giants would also yield ‘nil’ in the goals for column. Once more, there was plenty of effort shown from the players but little craft or endeavour that could unlock the expensively assembled defences.

Even with a fresh-faced Robbie Keane in their ranks, Wolves weren’t exactly troubling the promotion contenders, although a home game against my shot-shy performers represented the perfect opportunity to at least put a bit of pressure on the top six…1

It’s difficult not to pretend that I wasn’t disappointed; not because I expected a victory, but somehow contriving to score three and not even escaping Molineux with a single point. Alex Notman temporarily found his shooting boots, only adding to the frustration I felt.

Oxford United were next up, and Bury reverted to type, grinding out yet another stalemate to just about keep parity with games played and points gained. This actually represented the start of a fine run, with four consecutive clean sheets. Even with the (rightly) highly rated Dean Kiely in goal, that’s no mean feat. There were crucial wins over ‘local’ rivals Stockport County and Crewe Alexandra (both of which came up with the Greater Manchester outfit the season prior). That had the table looking like this with 10 matches remaining:

2

Easily the most impressive result to date was over likely champions Nottingham Forest, however…

3

Where did that come from?! To keep the likes of the volatile Pierre Van Hooijdonk quiet and amass that margin of victory were both things I didn’t expect. David Thompson ran the show from the right flank, scoring once and laying on a wicked cross for Tony Ellis to tap home. Whilst wins were rare, defeats were as well, and the gap had widened to 15 points with nine to play, and six short of Stan the Man’s total.

Besting Tranmere Rovers back at Gigg Lane made it four wins from four in March, but it still somehow wasn’t enough to secure me the Manager of the Month award. Little Bury were once again being cruelly ignored.

Second tier football all but assured, some of the players became a little lackadaisical, and even worse, the majority of the loanees were recalled by their parent clubs with a significant number of games still to be played. Three more blanks were drawn, threatening to take the gloss a little off the collective efforts of the threadbare roster.

Thankfully, they rallied with the tantalising prospect of a holiday to Magaluf dangled before them. A creditable draw at home to Huddersfield was quickly followed by a rare triumph on the road at Charlton, and the subsequent defeat versus Ipswich was quickly forgotten on final day with a comfortable win over Stoke.

4

My utilisation of three outfield players in the available sub slots has not yet cost me, and today was no exception. That left the final table looking like this:

56

Top of the bottom half can only be regarded as a success against the first part of the challenge I set myself. The only stat I didn’t improve compared to Ternent was the goals scored column, falling three short of equalling his meagre tally.

7810

And a summary of the fixtures:

Come back soon for Part 3, where I set myself a new challenge for the second season, pitting myself against a certain Neil Warnock…

Peter will be back soon with part 3 but in the meantime you can follow him on Twitter @BurymeinExile