The Wonderkids – Part 16: Sweeping Up Appearances

Hello and welcome back to The Wonderkids! We’re back for the run in to our inaugural season in the Premier League, you can catch up on last week here. It is a real battle this season, with no team standing out, we’ve lost some key players and we’ve been on a bit of a bad run of late. Here is a reminder of where we sat in the table:

Bryan Robson a constant thorn in our side, he is a shoe in for Manager of the Year. Alex Ferguson is hanging onto his job at Man Utd, they just cannot score goals. In true fashion, we will start this update as we mean to go on…

Just as well he’s s**** and hasn’t been playing. Sundgot is off in Vienna, proving it was right to offload him.

Rapid he is not

We’ve got 17th placed Liverpool (not sure how with Cole, Owen and Fowler up top…) and Man Utd both away on the bounce. Our resurrection against Leicester was short-lived.

That’s what I get for taking the p*** out of Scott Booth and Charlie Miller…the wheels on the bus are not going round at the moment, in fact it would appear they’ve been stolen. Some minus men are available, but they reject us.

Beto luck next time…

Agboh is back from injury at a welcome time with Juan suspended. We face off against Boro, if they win, they have a game in hand to overtake us. COME ON!!!!

He rose to the challenge

Vickers helps us on our way. Inexplicably, Robson kept 36-year-old goal-machine Branca on the bench the whole game.

Elsewhere Fergie lifts the pointless cup with a minus man making an appearance from the bench for Leeds.

This is some tight-le race. Top 6 all in with a shout.

We pick up against our arch nemesis, Donkeys United at Bramall Lane. They’ve got a hold over us despite being constant relegation fodder. They take the lead and I am apoplectic with rage.

Domi is now out for a few weeks having only been back to two games. I’ll take the point given I just can’t work out how they keep diddling us. What an FA Cup Final treat:

We tweak the formation to try and survive the run in:

Next up its Palace at the slicer and we manage to get the points in the bag. Neil Sullivan has a blinder.

It’s Kevin Keegan and his Arsenal of attacking options next, and the new formation works a treat again. Van Der Schaaf is at home in his sweeper role.

Arsenal sent their chances over mars…

Yep, always gonna happen wasn’t it. Who the f*** did he annoy now…

Another solid defensive display sees a 0-0 with Wolves. We’ve got Newcastle, QPR and Villa left to get 3 points from and win the league. QPR are rock bottom but we win, and unless someone overhauls our GD its ours.

Horst Siegl over Batigol???

We’re dancing to our own toon! Even minus man and former B Team lad Peter Fear can’t stop us. Batistuta, Premier League’s top scorer benched…we’re getting some luck lately!

…geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet up! Constantino dislocates his jaw in the celebrations. We close up shop at Villa with a 1-0. I like the new setup a lot.

The vital statistics:

The goals haven’t quite flown as usual, Rose has carried us.

Bing is ridiculous considering his attributes

The average ratings have taken a tumble, it might be the worst Premier League win in history. Given the striking issues, we make a close season addition with a new minus man.

A little off-track, but my boys are competing internationally in one of the most tightly balanced groups in history.

We expectedly, win no awards.

QPR finish bottom but minus man Betterton gets YPotY

The board inject their usual funds to payoff the B Team debt. And then immediately spend it on seats.

Maybe we’ll turn a profit next season?

And with that, our first season in the Premier League is over. It has been tough. Players who would improve the squad have been turning us down. I’m contemplating bringing Drummond back from the B Team after a great season in the First Division (they lost in the playoffs). We’ll be representing the nation in the Champions League, a new test for the kids so sit back, relax, and join us again soon to see whether we can retain our title and compete on the continental stage!

You can follow Andrew on twitter: @KingOfTheRooks

(Apologies there was no final table, screenshot failed to save a few images to the folder)

Leave a Reply