The World According to Warnock | Episode 4 – 98/99 Finale | @CornishZak

“My specialty was ingrowing toenails,” trained chiropodist Neil Warnock on his alternate career path.

Welcome back, Colin fans! What would have happened if Warnock had stuck to feet? Well, no World According to Warnock blog!

We’ve reached the finale to our first season with Kidderminster Harriers. We have 13 games and 3 points to eat into. Should be doable, right?

Here’s a squad update as I’ve been tinkering behind the scenes. Four goalkeepers have been sold and I’ve recruited Chis Day as the permanent successor to Tony Warner. He cost a fifth of the price (£200k) from Watford and should see us through to the end of the season. I also pick up younger Aaron Hughes from Arsenal for £350k (not the Newcastle one). He was great on my ‘free for all’ save – and versatile. Finally I unnecessarily spend £30k on Des Walker. He’s on £4.1k per week wages, more than double the next highest earners Mark Robins and Dave Watson.

First game of this episode is against Barnet. Despite going two goals down the lads show great character to level up by half time. Choccy completed the win in the second half, rolling back the years (or months).

We we our second successive game 4-2, with Dave Watson commanding from the back. A post-pineapple Jason Lee gets in on the goals again.

We’re up against table-topping Brighton next. An early missed penalty from Paul Dickov doesn’t put Brighton off, as they see out a 1-0 win. It’s a blow.

Can we feel hard done by?

We drop two more points against Colchester and have two more injures to nurse through. Waddle and Coll collided with each other in the centre of the park much to the dismay of the other players.

Its another promotion chasing clash, this time at high-lying Rochdale. We don’t lose, but it’s two more dropped points.

Again… can we feel hard done by?

Jason Lee shows the lads how it is done by taking Scunthorpe by the scruff. That’ll do!

Two more goals from our new hero Lee is not enough against Torquay at Plainmore. I thought at 2-2 we would finish the stronger and go on to win… it wasn’t to be.

I’ve not been able to get the best from Martin Lauchlan playing him as the anchorman so after many complaints and expletives in the Blog Squad WhatsApp group our supreme leader Dave suggested switching him to left back… let’s see!

Back at Aggborough the lads see off Darlington to give a well needed injection of points.

We’re up to 40 games, and again, remarkably, we are still within touching distance of the top-spot. Swansea have played themselves into contention for automatic places.

Game week 41, and six cup finals to go… I reinstate Matt’s mate Danny Hall to left back after a couple more poor showings from Lauchlan. He takes 6 minutes to prove he should be starting full back. We get off to the perfect ‘start’ for the title run-in.

The lads then hit Bristol City for six. Colin is in dreamland! Lee now has scored 7 in his last 5.

Make that 10 in 6… We play Scarborough for what feels like the fifth time this season. It’s a tight affair and a 92nd minute winner from Lee turns out to be a winner. Get in!

We get a punch in the gut at Swansea – another team pushing for promotion.

The loss means Swansea are level with us, and it’s Rochdale who fall to fourth. Tight at the top!

We’re back at Aggborough and score four first half goals to control the game. I think we’re home and Exeter score two more to bring a nervy final 30 minutes. We hold on!

We’re up!!! Rochdale and Brighton drop points and with one game to play cannot catch us!

It’s a race for first now.. Harriers are locked on 91 points with Swansea on 88. 1 point will do, and Swansea would need a massive goal swing! We’ve scored and conceded an obscene amount of goals.

Final day of the season and the lads blow their chance within 60 seconds. Mansfield control the game and we cannot score despite me throwing on all attacking players in the second half.

It’s enough for the title.

That’s goal 1 achieved. We matched Neil Warnock’s Division 3 promotion achievement of 1989-90. Warnock’s Notts County side won via playoffs, so that’s one tick in the box 🙂

After a fair bit of wheeler-dealing our coffers have a healthy £4.8million ready to attack Division 2 next season.

Until next time, see you in Division 2!

*PS* Here are the stats for those interested;

Jason Lee was a revelation since his £150k switch from Watford. 16 goals in 15 games plus 10 assists.

Choccy was the top scorer. Francis Jeffers’ 13 goals in 15 games was enough to see him placed fourth in the list.

Choccy also was the top assist maker too, with young Cascarino. I think it’s time to wind down Waddle’s contribution – he was on set pieces most of the season and managed 2 assist…

Here are Lee’s stats;

Until next time, Colin fans. Join us in Division 2 as we battle to get a double-promotion.

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