So, you came back to the sunlit uplands of FLTM9798 did you? On a side note, I’ve always wondered, if you had a windscreen shield, how the f*** would you see to be able to drive?!? Okay, I’ll park the poor humour for now let’s get this shit show on the road. If you missed last week’s intro, you can catch up here.

The first round of league fixtures will have you salivating, that is, if you drool in your sleep.

The only real mismatch to kick us off is Rotherham 95-96 vs. Stoke 91-92. But before we get to that, we have the joy of the Coca-Cola Cup, as we are, as ever, at home in the Scottish Division Three.

Philip gets Torpey-doed by Matt and one Birmingham are out at the first hurdle.

Deano and Rob open the Sunday’s proceedings and it’s a rip-roaring s*** stinker as Stoke come back to pull out the win. They take home the Coca-Cola.

Next up it’s myself and Dave, who has taken a leave of absence to let me manage his side. I manage to lose despite having control of the opposition, always good.

Nick spends his day straw in hand as he feeds the goat to perfection.

And the cup is wrapped up as Zak’s pressure to have Bernie Slavin’ away leads to an injury for the old man. Alex Mathie is on hand to wrap it up.

The opening League fixtures see a repeat but a reversal in fortunes for Philip.

The reversal continues as I manage to get the points in the league from Dave. Delap of honour it is not.

The game of the week arrives early as Zak and Deano slog it out for a point each. Port Vale acting as the perfect Foyle for Birmingham’s 10-men.

Nick and Rob go toe to toe with Stoke giving it the Biggin. Jemson steals a late consolation but that’s it. A big blow for Rob losing Stein however.

Stoke vs. Wigan, Nathan vs. Ross. What. A. Treat. Peter the boy with a thorn in Wigan’s side. But Kilford’s early goal leaves Petty and Co heartbroken.

Deano gets an incredible performance out of possibly the worst side heading into this competition.

After our brief dalliance with the league, it’s back to the fizzy pop cup. They do love their cups in Scotland at this time of year. Here are the mental results:

Dave’s Carlisle win hearts and minds with this display of intent.

While Zak is the King of the South for a day.

And if you’d not had enough of that, we have some League Challenge Cup action to add to your dietary requirements for this read:

Stenhousemuir. They didn’t want any muir, that’s for sure.

Aspinall does his best to f*** it up for Dave, but Delap of honour goes on.

I live to fight another day as we come back from 2-0 down but Ross admits his focus was ‘always’ on the league as Wigan crash out to the thistley buggers.

An absolute highlight was this display of finishing from Nick and Rob’s sides.

Matt’s Swans are through, but Rob’s Stein-less steel Stoke get pasted by some Moran.

And with that, we’d had enough for one night. The table looks a little sad given all the cup action.

And now for a final word from our key analyst: