Merthyr Part-X Outlet. Part 4: Sheffield Wednesday are Stoned | @Emsonite

We’re top after 22 games. 

The squad has just been weakened though with the arrival of Mick Harford. I didn’t want him.

Got no interest in the rest of my squad either at the moment so just going to rattle through some games and see what bites I get. Everyone apart from Banger & Finnan are on the transfer list.

Tony Bird is suspended for 2 games so Harford gets his first start at home to Lincoln. Unsurprisingly, he blanks as The Imps take us to Brown Town.

I’m not playing him again. 

Back on track against Rotherham as Pettinger has a stinker. Remind me not to trade him in.

We take down Div 1 opposition to go into the 4th Round of the FA Cup. Hopefully we can get a money spinning home draw next.

Got £3m in the bank but no bites on any of my players so i can’t use it. Surely it’s just a matter of time.

Our dream of a sexy home tie against a big club didn’t come true.. Away to Peterborough. To make matters worse we got suspensions and very little depth to come in. We battle for a replay. I’ll take it.

Oh a bite. Brentford want Heald, who’s on my bench anyway after coming in from Wimbledon. The only available player at Brentford worth having is striker Bob Taylor, who’s got 14 goals so far this season. Not a great average rating of 6.72 but beggars can’t be choosers. The bid goes in.

Hammered at Fulham and we’re out of the Windscreen. One to forget.

Taylor signs with Heald going the other way.

Decent trade if not empathic. What do you think, boss?


He ain’t happy.

Replay with the Posh. A big crowd turns up and they certainly get their money’s worth. 

Norwich knocked us out at Carrow Road in the next round. The FA Cup run is over. We can’t compete with the bigger Div 1 clubs currently.  

We can compete with our local rivals though. Return leg of the local Derby. We are the pride of South Wales. We do the double. 

The Transfer Deadline is in two weeks and there’s a lot to get through. Bird and Banger, who have nearly 80 goals between them this season, are both wanted. Bird has a big-club release clause. Banger doesn’t. If I’m going to do business with Banger it needs to be in exchange for quality. 

There’s also bids in for Finnan. He hasn’t been great. I’ll happily do this bit of business with Charlton.

But I wouldn’t want this deal from QPR. I’m not allowed to refuse the QPR bid though. 

Let’s hope Finnan chooses Charlton. 

But sods law….

For God’s Sake. 

I’m going to thump my own Skateboarder for this trade.


Have that you Skater-Boy-American-Wannabe-Pretending-You-Got-Daddy-Issues-Knobcheese


Frustration got the better of me there. 

Fulham make me a good offer. I sell Tony Bird for £1.4m & 3 players. It makes sense because Cambridge wants John Eustace. And Chris Kiwomya is available. A bid for the former Ipswich striker goes in.

Now, I didn’t want to sell Banger but Sheff Wednesday are in with a £1.6m offer with a host of talent in exchange. I can’t refuse this. Jon Newsome is a champions league level player and Whittingham should be able to do a job in the lower leagues. 

I can’rt believe my luck. The deal goes through. Jon Newsome, Guy Whiitinhma AND £480k for Nicky Fucking Banger. 

Wednesday’s Director of Football must be on the wacky baccy. 

And we bring Chris Kiwomya with Eustace going the other way for good measure.

Cornforth comes in with Paul Bruce going the other way. Bruce only joined from QPR a week ago. So actually the Finnan deal ended up alright. Cornforth is better. Just went a long way around it.  

What an end to the window. 

The boss is very happy.

Look at this squad now. Got options.

My new front 2 are both off the mark at Brisbane Road. 

If you haven’t read ‘Dean Smith Doesn’t Want To Be Japanese’ You may be wondering why Luigi Di Biagio is playing for the Orient. It’s a long story.

Newsome doing Newsome things. 

We snatched the title on the last day. 

So after 1 season:


-A bigger, better squad.

-£4m in the bank. 

That’s as good as I could have hoped for at the beginning of the season. 

Going to need a striker or 2 before we start life in Div 2 but there are a few wanted signs on the players. Join us next week to see who we can trade in.

Leave a Reply