Brits Abroad – Part 10: Heart of Glass

Good morning. If you’ve been keeping score, we republished our Brits Abroad blogs that were written for another website. The good news is, we’ve now caught up. Last week wasn’t a dream, we did win the league, but it was also originally published in April 2016, so who is to say what is real. Anyway, I’m going to continue because these British lads deserve success on every level. We’ve got a Champions League to win.

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Brits Abroad – Part 9: The Great Teams

Welcome back to the series with more parts than a dodgy plumber. Episode 9 is upon us and whilst we didn’t get very far in the Champions League, we’re just 1 point off the top in a very open title race. Can the Brits abroad be triumphant? Or will it be heroic failure yet again? Let’s find out.Here’s a reminder of the table before we travel to Estrela Amadora.

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Brits Abroad – Part 8: Stairs going up to the bedrooms

Good day to you! Welcome back to season 3, where we’re trying to juggle being in the Champions League with being British. It’s been a bit of a grim season, we look set to crash out of the Champions League in the group stages and we’re off the pace in the league. But we have Dion Dublin & Gareth Southgate, so isn’t that really all that matters?This was just awful.


We managed 1 shot on target. Morris out for a month too, considering he’s been in England squad’s he’s a big loss. We need to respond and thankfully we get a referee decision in our favour early on.


Porto lose at home to Salgueiros which puts our result in perspective last week, maybe things aren’t so bad.Off to Amsterdam now and we need to win to have any chance – given how badly they beat us at home, this could be painful.


Urgh. We’re just not good enough to live with Europe’s elite.Back to league action now and we’re away to newly promoted Viseu, who play in a lovely grey kit.


Redknapp is proving quite useful and Gallen needs to be amongst the goals if we’re to have any success.This is…unexpected.


Portugese cup action now and as we’ve drawn midtable 2nd tier club Tirsense, I can rotate and unleash Dion Dublin on them.


Smash. Turns out Fitzgerald is out for 3 months with a torn groin, but I’ve got plenty of strikers so it’s not a huge concern.Champions League dead rubber time! Dinamo Kiev visit us and we’re playing for 2nd – only the best 2 runners up go through to the last 8 and we’re way off.


What a great game.Ajax were fairly imperious.


Ah well, it’s a lesson learned. We’ll hopefully be back.What’s JC been up to?


So much to discuss here. Who is Neil Edwards? Why is Danny Granville getting caps? Where are all of England’s plethora of centre halves from this era?Back from the international madness and 85,000 people turned out for this:


We’ve never fared well in our trips to Boavista and this is no exception, despite Jody Morris’ return from injury.


Somebody broke Jamie Redknapp’s ribs here which I imagine is probably like stepping on a bag of crisps.And so as luck would have it, our biggest game of the season against table topping Sporting Lisbon falls on Boxing Day.


Happy Christmas, love Dion. Lisbon managed 21 shots at our goal, to our 9, but only one team had Dion Dublin.The table is pretty tight.


We can keep the pressure on with a tricky away match as we tick into the year 2000.


We’re so dull, I think next season I’m going to find an all-out attack formation. Porto do us all a favour and win at Sporting, so we’re 3rd but only just behind the leaders.I think betting slips everywhere will be torn up here – we scored THREE GOALS.


How’s this for a top three at the half way stage?


So you could say it’s quite tight.This is a great result, Porto haven’t quite hit the heights this season but for us to get a point away to one of the big two is invaluable.


The way the results go, Sporting fall to 4th and Porto to 7th, whilst we stay 3rd. Vitoria Guimaraes top the pile, and we welcome them to Luz next.


Despite starting like a train, we give away a goal and that is a shame. Benfica, Sporting and Porto and 5th, 6th and 7th. Chaves are 2nd. What is going on!? I’m about to find out as we travel to Chaves next.


Scenes! At 2-0 down I’m livid that we’re going to drop points to these no marks again but Le Tissier rams in a free kick and before long we have all the momentum. Anderton’s goal causes me to celebrate in front of a fictional home end before I realise I’m 27 and in my front room. Whatever, we’re 2nd and the title race is on.


BRIAN DEANE! Forget Bridges’ hat trick, Brian Deane, the people’s champ, climbs off the bench to head in a fourth. We’re top of the league. I’ve got a good feeling about this! Cup action now and it’s away to Braga in the quarter finals. It’s a tight game, until…


DEANO! He’s left it late to come to the party this season, in so many ways. It’s Chaves in the semis, because we don’t play them enough.We’re absolutely flying but we’re going to one of our bogey grounds now, Academica. They sit 4th and are just 3 points behind us, I would take a draw now to be honest.


Well I would have taken a point, but at 2-0 up with 20 minutes to go we really ought to have won.In the final match of the update, we host Espinho, who are struggling at the foot of the table.


A rare heavy victory to boost the goal difference, I’m starting to think we actually want this.


So with just 11 league games to go, plus a cup semi final (and maybe a final, who knows!?) it is nicely poised for us to have a celebratory final update for once. Or we’ll probably blow it at the death again, whichever. You’ll have to join me next time to find out which way the pendulum swings. Until then…

Brits Abroad – Part 7: 100% British Beef

Welcome back to the world’s most expensive stag do. We’re about to kick off season 3 and I’ve situated 30 Brits in Lisbon and had a party. Also, Karel Poborsky is still here, who by this point is basically playing the role of the dwarf the stag is handcuffed to.  On that vivid image, here’s the squad in its full glory as we prepare for this Champions League season.

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Brits Abroad – Part 6: It’s in the genes

Welcome back to “Brits Abroad”, a series where I’m trying to build an entirely British team at Benfica and hopefully dominate the game. So far, that hasn’t really been the case, but it’s early days in the grand scheme of things and we’re firing on three fronts as you join us in part 6. Who thought we’d get as far as a 6th part? I know I didn’t. Anyway, it’s the end of season 2 and we have it all to play for. So let’s get to it…At the end of the last update Sporting Lisbon took us to a replay back at our place in the Portugese cup. The time for that replay…is now.

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Brits Abroad – Part 5: Progress

Lovely to see you all this morning. Let’s enjoy today’s entirely new post.

Welcome back. Who thought we’d get as far as part 5? Not me, and not Brian Deane. I thought we’d be mid table by now but we’re actually better than that, I think I overestimated much of the Portuguese league. Anyway, we sit 4th and still in Europe, so let’s get on with it.

Back in the action then after the International break and we labour to a 1-0 win.

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Brits Abroad – Part 4: Paying the Penalty

Welcome back. Let’s surprise ourselves with what I wrote in 2016…

Hello! Season two is often tricky for any manager, just ask the author of this very web page [remember, this was on HTP originally] who felt so strongly about the second season syndrome he named a book after it. In this post, we’ll find out if you can have a second season syndrome if you perform mediocre in season one, as sadly that is the proposition that faces me. My all British side have been typically British, sadly, as we limped to a 3rd place finish and missed out on the Champions League millions. The board aren’t best pleased, and as I’m not able to attract the cream of the British crop, I’m having to dig deep into the British talent pool…

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Brits Abroad – Part 3: Gallens of fun

You know the gist by now and let me say, your acting skills are fantastic. So let’s read this entirely new blog post…

Ola! That’s Portugese for hello you retro-CM loving maniacs. Welcome to part 3 of Brits Abroad, where we’re about to enter the business end of the season. The squad is now pretty much entirely British, which was the dream, so now it’s time to see if the late addition of Matt Le Tissier (and Jody Morris) can propel us up the league or to the Portugese Cup. Before your excitement bubbles over, let’s crack on.

Everything is coming up Dave!

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