CM9798 Retirement Home – Part 40: Abide with me

Well hello there. Part 40, that means you’ve been reading this for 40 weeks. Yes, there was a break in the middle but still, that takes us close a year of this concept. The Retirement Home are currently enjoying (or at least participating in) only their second ever season in the top flight. Naturally, we’re in the bottom 3 but this time we’re only 2 points adrift of safety. We can do it!

prem bottom feb S13

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CM9798 Retirement Home – Part 39: Bild-ing bridges

Hey, remember last Sunday when we won a league game? That was good. Welcome back to the Retirement Home, where Season 13 is just getting out of second gear. One sunny day doesn’t make a summer but that might be as good as it gets. To paraphrase Elton John, we’re still standing. Mind you, he also said “oh no no no, I’m a rocket man” when the word he was surely looking for was astronaut so we’ll take it with a pinch of salt.

prem bottom October S13

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CM9798 Retirement Home – Part 38: Big Names

Well, well, well. Who honestly thought we’d be back here? Season 13 is about to get underway and the Retirement Home are back in the Premier League. I’m not really sure how, but the playoff final was decided by penalties and despite the idiot manager leaving the penalty takers as the automatic choices, we did it. Suggestions that we’d have lost the shootout had I picked the players remain unfounded…

playoff final S12

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CM9798 Retirement Home – Part 33: 46 is the new 30

Welcome back! The Retirement Home made a triumphant return last week, which lasted about 3 games before we fell into our old ways. In my defence, which is the worst in the league, our only mobile goalkeeper got injured and the pair of geriatrics who stood in for him couldn’t catch a cold. The table makes grim reading. Only 12 for and a massive 31 against. At least we’re not in the bottom 3.

League table Oct S11

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CM9798 Retirement Home – Part 32: Back in the habit

Welcome back! It’s been about 4 months since our last visit to the Retirement Home but as you’ll know if you’ve been following on Twitter, it’s been a summer of recruitment and rebuilding as we look to fight back from the Premier League relegation. We’ve got an immediate advantage compared to last season as only one player hangs up their boots and even then, he was about to lose his work permit. Good day to you sir. Let’s see who we can bring in…

Songoo retires

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CM9798 Retirement Home – Part 31: Get me Steve McQueen

Hello! Welcome back to the Retirement Home, where we have enjoyed 5 months as a Premier League club but the trap door back to Division 1 is wide open. With 1 win in 23, it’s hard to make an argument for these old lads finding a way out of this one but it would normally be about this time Mick Quinn would roll back the years but with him long since retired, who will be my Micker now?

Prem bottom January

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