May the fourth be with you, always.
Let’s take stock of where we are.
Hello and welcome to Season 27. It’s been a grind but we are finally having some good times with Rangers. Last season was simply perfect. We won every trophy available to us cumulating with winning the Champions League! Let’s see if we can retain any of these titles.
August
A little pause for reflection. Please don’t get me wrong – Gary Goals doesn’t listen to the High Performance podcast, and considers Jake Humphrey a complete twerp – but sometimes a little look in the mirror pays dividends.
We’re playing All Out Attack – a cartoon of a formation – and we’ve played 8, won 8 in the league. We’ve only lost to Rangers this season, and even then their keeper got Man of the Match. If we can keep the boys on track, we’re pioneering a new way to play football. If you asked the people of Montrose to name three great football managers, they wouldn’t say Ferguson, Dalglish, Ancelotti…. they’d say Michels, Wenger, Guardiola….. Goals.
We’ve lost our starting centre midfielder and our top scorer from Season One to the big-club release clause, but neither was in the true top tier of our key players, so it’s time to lift the lads and carry on the only way we know – all guns blazing.
Top of Div 2 after 13 games and we’ve sabotaged our main rivals.
Off to Springfield next.
Roberto Martinez tried to stop us but the rest of the team have been spending too much time in Moe’s lately.
Huge News…
Hope everyone has their passports ready.
Slaven Bilic (Released), Darren Rimmer (Bradford City) and Alex Notman (Huddersfield in Div One) won’t need them but Gavin Dunne, a 21 year old Irish “star” from Watford for a tribunal set £1.3m comes in to replace Bilic. A couple of Schoolboys join the party, Lee Ward (Central Defender) and Nicky Coppell (Right Winger).
A trip to Merseyside first up, and those who missed it are a bit like our strikers. They missed quite a bit too. We should have taken more than a point.
Hello and welcome back to our 30 for 30 challenge. The end is near (thank god!!) but we still have a couple of seasons left. Last season was easily our most successful so far as we completed the Scottish League and Cup double with Rangers. This season we are going to have an assault at the Champions League.
August
Our first season of all-out, balls to the wall attacking play saw us sneak into second and gain promotion. There’s no denying we were lucky at times, but we ended on a good run and signed off the last part by signing a youthful Rino Gattuso to clobber anyone who dares come near our defenders. Anything that exists without Rino’s knowledge exists without his consent. That’s as true of Brechin City’s hopeful through-balls as it is of the spiritual side of life, and he’s here to prove it.
Our main challenge this season may well be to keep hold of our better players. To that end, we’ll bulk up the squad a little more in advance.
After a successful first season, it’s Pina Coladas on the beach courtesy of our sponsor. I say courtesy of our sponsor. He didn’t actually pay for the holiday. He took my £99 deposit and I’m paying him back over 5 years.
The holiday is going to cost £5k more than it was worth in the long run. Think I’ve been stung. I’m just glad it wasn’t a car.
Anyway, it was only a short getaway as there’s work to do.
Close season = transfer activity. And there’s a lot to wade through.
As it stands, only Nathan Jones and Bob Taylor are wanted. Jones is worth a whopping £3m.
If I can get some exchange offers before June, there should be some good bargains on offer with contracts running down & players on offer being valued next to nothing.
First out the door is Rob Scott. I bring in Muggleton and Andrade as part of the deal.
We’ve all made it to the 20th episode of this meandering, misfiring, and not exactly menacing attempt to replicate what Sir Alex Ferguson did at Man United, with Bolton Wanderers.
As a recap, this is how we compare to the great man.
The closest we’ve had is an FA Cup final defeat to Queens Park Rangers.
